Indecisive (Loki Laufeyson x Bucky Barnes x Reader)

CHAPTER 31

*Beep*

1 month

That's how much longer I had been stuck in this cell. How long I had been stuck inside the laboratory, and no one had come for me. Assuming that I had been here for at least 2 or 3 days prior, I was going on a month and a half missing.

A month and a half since I had been drugged after the party in my honour, a month and a half since I'd seen any of the Avengers, and yet I was still here. 

Alone, and cold. Having to relieve myself in a small bucket in the corner of the dark cell, or wake up and hurl into that same bucket when the nightmares began to chase me from my sleep. 

They weren't normal nightmares. They never repeated themselves, but were all similar in the sense that I was being tortured, and my loved ones were being held captive and only when they finished with me, when I was exhausted and at the point of passing out did they begin to do the same to them. The first had been my mother, followed by Loki and then Bucky, Sif, Tony, Steve and then the warriors three; although that dream had had me at the bucket for longer. Then, they began to be me reliving my memories only this time, I was the villain in every story.

It had been around 3 of those beeping sounds before I finally realized where they were coming from and what they meant. They had been coming from the man standing in the corner who had been keeping guard of me, who I had now come to know as Theo. The watch he held on his wrist seemed to beep every 24 hours. Why? I didn't know. 

By the fourth day I had decided that I was no longer going to cry or feel bad, not that I had had much privacy to allow myself to or any dignity left to preserve, but  it made me feel vulnerable. 

And this was no place for that. 

I began to wonder by the 5th day why none of the Avengers had come for me, or if they had noticed if I had gone missing at all. They had probably all been busy or assumed I had locked myself into my room and decided to give me space. 

Each and every one of those weeks had been hell. I had never been visited again to be told about the mysterious plan of Dr. Broussard. The white board had long ago been brought out of the room, not that I could read what was on it anyway, and Theo hadn't moved unless told to. He stood in the corner of that room eyeing me ever so often as I sat in the same clothes I had been wearing when I was taken, my hair now a mess. 

Every morning at the same time I assumed, another guard would come in and take the bucket and bring back a new one. Then I would be taken out of the cell and brought into another laboratory, this one with porcelain floors and white walls. They would sit me in a chair in the middle and then place the headpiece onto my head and make me relive my nightmares. I was strapped to the chair and couldn't get out, couldn't take off the headset and couldn't close my eyes. 

It was all in my mind. 

For the first few times, I remember screaming for them to turn it off until my lungs were coarse and my body exhausted. Only then when they knew I was at the brink of passing out would they take off the headset. 

I wasn't sure if it was to test how long I could withstand the mental torture, or if they just felt like it. Only that didn't matter because it never seemed to make them stop. Once they were finished with messing with my mind and using my nightmares, they began to try and change my reality. 

They began to blend memories of mine and switch them with fake ones, and now I could barely tell what had happened in the laboratory or if it had happened in real life as well. I knew they had changed some of them because I remember going through it and because after every secession they would drop me back into my cell, sweat lacing my entire body, and as I bent over and emptied my stomach into the bucket I could swear I could hear Theo telling me it wasn't real.