i had just lost all of my friends and i felt so incredibly alone. vinnie and i had broken up awhile ago and i missed him so much. my life was falling apart and all i needed was for someone to comfort me.
i knew that if i reached out to vinnie he'd be at my door in 5 minutes, but i felt like an idiot. we had a "no matter what" rule. meaning that no matter what we'd still be there for each other. i'd go comfort him from time to time but never did i ever call him to tell him i needed him.
i figured if i was ever going to call him this would be the time because i wanted to die. i felt as though i had no purpose on earth anymore. i just wanted to disappear. there was no one i could talk to. just him. i had to call him or i would do something incredibly stupid.
i called him sobbing.
"y/n? what's wrong??" he sounded so worried. "vin i can't do this anymore..i have nothing. i'm sorry i'm bothering you but i have no one else to call.." "you're not bothering me even a little bit. i'm coming over." "you don't have t-" "y/n. shush. i'm already on my way." he was stern i didn't try to convince him anymore.
soon he was at my doorstep knocking softly. i opened the door with a tear stained face. he was in sweats, a t-shirt, and a zip up hoodie. he was wearing two different colored socks with slides. he clearly wasn't anticipating my call. he walked in, pulling me into a hug and shutting the door. the hug was so tight i felt safe again. he kissed the hair at the top of my head, keeping his nose there. my hands wrapped under his jacket and around his waist.
"it's okay i'm here.. you're okay.." he kept repeating almost as though he was reassuring himself that i was okay. "i'm sorry i didn't know what else to do.." i started to cry again. he pulled me in tighter. "shhh no apologizing.." he took me back to my bedroom and sat me on the bed. he walked into my bathroom and got a washcloth wet with hot water.
he brought it over to me and kneeled between my legs. he wiped the warm cloth over my cheeks, cleaning the tears. he dabbed it on my puffy under eyes and eyelids. i looked at him with dead and tired eyes, wanting to cry again because i still loved him more than anyone in the world. and he was the one that was still here for me no matter what. there was no way i'd ever move on. no one else compares.
"why do you care so much vin ?" my voice cracked and shook. "because i love you. no matter what happens you'll always be my number one priority. if you're okay then i'm okay." tears fell again and he wiped them. "vinnie ?" he continued wiping tears. "yes ?" "why did we break up ?" he was still focused on my cheeks and wiping them. "we relied on each other too much. we were too attached it was unhealthy.." his eyes became sad.
"couldn't we just work on that ? why did you have to go ?" his eyes met mine after my words came out. "i'm right here.." "you know what i mean.." i broke out into sobs again. "why did you have to leave ?" i covered my face. he leaned into me wrapping his arms around me. he buried his face into my neck, holding the back of my head.
"i'm sorry..i'm so sorry.." he began to choke up as well. suddenly i felt his lips imprint on my skin. a sigh shook through my tired throat. he continued to softly kiss my neck, comforting me. i closed my eyes, sighing again. i ran my fingers into his hair. "vin..don't do this if you don't mean it...please.." "i mean it..i promise." he spoke against my neck. i held him closer.
he stopped and looked at me. my eyes were still dead but there was definitely still love for him in them. "i wanna come back. will you let me come back ?" i studied his face. looking back and forth from both of his eyes. "please come back.." my waterline filled again. he moved me farther onto the bed and laid with me, holding me against his chest.
i began to sob once again. i gripped onto his shirt. "i'm in so much pain.." he pulled me closer. "i know..i'm so sorry..i'm here.." his warm hands ran under the back of my shirt and pressed against my waist and back. "i love you." his voice cracked. "don't cry.." i laugh cried. i reached up and touched the back of his hair again. "i'll do the crying for both of us."
he laugh cried as well. "if i pull you down v then you need to go.." he pulled me closer after i said that. "shut up please. thank you." i took in his scent, allowing myself to believe he wasn't going anywhere. "you don't pull me down at all." he rubbed my back. "can i stay the night ?" he kissed the top of my head again. "yes please..i'd appreciate that a lot vin."
"i'll stay as long as you need me.." "you might wanna move back in then.." i laughed, sniffling. he chuckled, making his chest vibrate against my face. he was warm but not too hot. he was comfortable in every way. he was soft and gentle with me. he held me better than anyone else. i fit perfectly into his chest.
if he wanted to come back i'd certainly let him. i needed him. i had nothing else. he held me for the rest of the night and he played movies for us to watch.
i love him so much. no matter what.
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