Haikyuu x Male!reader oneshots

Yamaguchi x SH! reader

TW: SELF-HARM!!!!
The action of self-harming isn't described, but it is referenced and talked about heavily. 

You swallowed thickly as you sat on your bed, Yamaguchi seated in your desk chair. The air in between you and Yamaguchi was tense, but given the circumstances that was a given. Your leg bounced nervously as you picked at your nails. Yamaguchi was taking controlled breaths and you could see the signs of his anxiety. 

'Stupid. You shouldn't make him worry.' you thought tearing your gaze from his freckled face. Normally the cuts on your sides and thighs gaze you a pleasant distraction, but now they brought nothing but sensitivity as the gauze and numbing cream cradled your wounds. 

"..M/N...I don't know where to start...." Yamaguchi whispered, breaking the silence. You lowered your head further as you scrambled to come up with answers to questions you were sure he would ask. 'Why do you do it?' 'Why can't you stop?' 'Why' 'Why' 'Why'

"I...I want to be here for you. So...what should I do?" He quietly asked, surprising you. You glanced up and you could only see sincerity on his face. 

"you...you don't want to know why?" you whispered, and he could hear the shock in your voice. 

"one day yeah, but right now... I don't think either of us are ready for that." He whispered. Looking back, there was so many obvious signs that he had missed. He was left wondering if there was anything he should have or shouldn't have said, if there was any way he could have helped you earlier. But he knew this type of pain wasn't a simple explanation, it was layers of pain, hatred, and sorrow. 

He was certain one day you would unwrap the layers, and maybe he'd be lucky enough to still be around to see it. You were strong, and he knew that you'd get through this. 

"...yama.." You choked out, breaking down into tears. You weakly tried to wipe the tears away as you curled deeper into yourself, voice cracking and stumbling over words that could never fully explain the pain. Yamaguchi took a breath before moving to sit in front of you, cupping your face. 

"M/N...I love you. You'll get through this, I swear. Your strong but it's okay to need help." Yamaguchi soothed tugging you into his lap, minding your cuts. He let you sob into his shoulder as you two sat on the floor. 

"I-I'm sorry!" You cried, weakly wiping away the tears from your face. 

"M/N.... there isn't anything to be sorry about. You're hurting, but we'll get through this. We'll get through this." Yamaguchi said with a soft smile. The rest of the night was a blur of tears and cuddles. 

In the months to come, he never made you explain why you turned to self-harming. he never made you explain anything, letting you open up at your own pace. He helped you stop harming as often and as badly. He held you at your worst days to keep you from harming, and he celebrated your victories with you. He loved you and supported you, and you were eternally grateful for him. It was a tough battle to win, but it was won nonetheless. 

A.N.
This was a request (I lost the user sorry), but it was also a little bit of a vent. How was everyone's Christmas/holidays?