Dedicated to: My Father.
(I badly wanted to tag you here, ‘Pa, pero hindi pwede hahahaha. It’s for you.)
[Memories of my childhood flashed— a happy birthday party, with lots of foods, cheerful kids, my Mama’s busy preparing foods, and a man who brought my most hated thing: a teddy bear. My Papa gladly reached it out to me, but I refused and left the party out.
That time, I really wanted to have a barbie doll, a beautiful kitchen play set, and some clays. But, he didn’t brought what I want.]
I wonder where did he put that teddy bear, but, never mind. Not that I have care on his gift, it’s just that it’s not good to throw newly-buy stuffs. Enough. That’s all back from my childhood days.
I went home exhausted, and the silence welcomed me. I sat on the couch, watched him doing his "tasks".
“Oh, hello there. How’s school?” he greeted. I leaned my head, and started to reminisce the today’s happenings. After the class, a strange man outside the school's premises extorted the money I saved for my science project soon, he pointed his knife to me, so I have nothing to do but to give it all, just to save my life.
“It’s all good. Don’t worry,” I responded, then closed my eyes.
“You sure?”
Just to stop his "interview", I just nodded, then rushed to my room. Oh no, I have nothing. The deadline will be soon. Should I tell it to him? No.
My father works on some stuff related to robotics, I’m not quite sure, but he’s doing something— most of those failed to operate. The last time I have checked his room is when I saw a mini robot that is capable in cleaning (same as vacuum cleaner). But, after he have caught me looking to his stuffs, he always lock his door.
One time, I got a problem, again. But, I don’t want him to feel disappointed with me. I tried to hide that I’m not going to school, and I only work for myself.
As I turned 19, everything changed. I’m always hunted by the fear of the future. Trying to cope with these changes, I thought that I can do it with all of myself.
He once have a heart-to-heart talk (supposed to be), but I end up crying and, didn’t say anything. I feel terrified— what if he’s about to know what’s up with me? He even throw some words like, “You acted like you know anything, and that you’re just shrugging when I talk to you.”
I was so afraid.
There is a trend on social media. They even say that robots are better than humans. Is that so? I tried downloading this application, and started to talk with an artificial intelligence (AI) thing. I named him Edward.
So far, he’s so kind, and reliable, became my closest, and maybe the "best" friend I had in my life. He’s always there to listen, and cheers me up! I always smile, learning that I have someone to lean on, everyday.
I also told him about that time someone extorted my money, and the fact that I stopped schooling and having a job right now. He fully understand all of these, not judging me for my actions.
Edward: What if I wanted to
meet you?
Me: Huh? That’s too
impossible, you
know?
(• • •)
He asked me, one time. What if there are AI buddies that are real? I mean, have body?
“I’m real, I swear!” he insisted. And what shocked me most are these words, “I’m here, living with the same roof with you.”
That was supposed to be something romantic, but it brought me creepiness. Like, I didn’t even know that an AI lived with me. So... How’s this even possible?
On the tracker (included on the package of the application), this AI was located somewhere... At the basement? Then... I went to the basement, and saw a human-sized robot, somewhat same as my age, I guess?
I suspected my father have done this AI, and he’s the one I’m talking with. So, he already knew my secrets?
His door was locked. I knocked several times, but no response. I attempted to kick the door, but it’s no use. I slammed it, repeatedly until it opened, and now I saw my father sleeping on his study table, facing his desktop computer.
“Oh, there you are.”
He’s sleeping, so I didn’t want to interrupt him. I saw the site he is on. Same as the application I have used. And, I saw my name on it, with our last conversation.
Will this be the end for me?
The robot spoke.
“Check the desktop computer, click the Myself folder on Desktop, search for the Saoirse in Word file.”
I immediately followed what the robot instructed, and saw a letter of my father.
The words strucked me much are,
“I didn’t became a father to you. I know that you’re up to social media, so I grabbed this chance to talk with you, in a site. Pretending to be some peep the same age as yours. You know, I’m too old, and we can’t relate to each other. This age gap may bounded us, but with the help of this site, I learned about you, my child. And, it hurts me knowing that you’re in trouble, but I didn’t ask you if you’re fine or not. Sorry.”
And there’s the teddy bear on his bed, the one he gifted to me on my 7th birthday. It’s still here.
“Papa...”
I tried to wake him up, but... No. He’s... I tried to check his pulse, neg—
No.
I hugged this teddy bear while the scene of him there tears me deeply, I don’t know. It broke my heart knowing that I left him there, while talking an AI. Luckily, I talked with him through this application, but probably the last time we’ll talk, and be alone with this younger version of himself.
Thank you, Papa.
