30th of July, 2022
æ,
you’re shedding again on someone’s skin, let me remind you that it will never be easy to live on expectations, especially of yourself. you will easily be tired of it, one thing i remembered about it is you keep lying to everyone who you are.
they are everywhere, even inside you who awaits for your weakest point to destruct what you have planted. those sharp teeth were gnashing the sanity you only have until you didn’t know yourself. there comes the monsters living in you, to get you away from the light you always wanted to seek. they won’t let you until they consume you to your soul’s death.
you know yourself, but don’t know either. there are countless moments of pain you pushed towards others. your hands were bathe in blood, cuts on palm, the weapon you always hold have stopped a lot of heartbeats. you aimed for holiness, but look at you, dressed on rags and your eyes that seemed to be innocent but flaring for destruction.
look at you!
(you’re a monster!)
don’t you see?!
(see yourself on the mirror!)
shut up!
(you don’t belong here, loser!)
get lost!
(until i can’t see your shadow!)
where are you now?
are you still there?
do you know me?
do you see me?
who are you?
is that you?
or, is it...
me?
“cry. cry. cry. plead. plead. plead.
go on, no one will notice it. press
yourself hard to the situation, it
will ne- -ver help you. don’t you
e v e r play as the loser of this
game you know you are at
fault. just
sur -render
to a p l a y
y o u’ll n e v e r w i n .
y o u h a v e
t o g o
t- -hrough
this h e l l
you should
know t h a t .
this w o u l d
b e end o f
y
o
- u r free-
-dom. n o m o r e
whispers of
yo- - u r despair.
gladly or pain-
fully accept the conse-
-quences of your actions, whether you like it or not.”
“this isn’t you...
those voices are chasing you
to come back to darkness.
i think i already see you but
you’re still far from me, i have
to ran fast and keep you safe
from those nightmares.
i’ll shout,
“close your eyes, and wait for
me ‘til i finally reached you.
don’t be scared, i will be there!”
sometimes,
fate won’t let us meet, you’ll
be lost from my sight, and your
scream tells me where you are
now. that’s a tough battle to
face, but they will be defeated
when we finally become one.
wait for me.
they may chase you
but don’t look back, just run.
take turns,
‘til we meet,
i will free from you from darkness.
it may be impossible for you, don’t give up. trust me. always believe you will get into the right way even if you don’t know the way. let my voice be your direction, it will travel through tunnels, and comes to you. just take a step, i will be here.
finding you,
emily.
