Sharing memories to someone who have not felt the reality behind those rules established by the elders, they do not know how painful it is for me. It's been a long time since I have done a mistake. Rosemary—the name of the girl who have gone out of nowhere, and believed to be the cause of chaos in my society. I felt guilt for still pursuing myself sharing those painful memories of the past to the girl I adore.
That was ten years ago. Here I am, preparing myself to the revelation of assignments, hoping to see a new receiver that can handle every memory I will share. Sitting here is an old man who have the possibility to forget the memories I am carrying for so long, but I should keep it until I pass it to the chosen one.
I cannot afford to do the same mistake happened to the one who I should not named.
Those pale, green eyes met mine, and I know he have seen something that nobody can. Since he was a kid, his eyes were full of wonder. The elders observed his sleeping patterns, even in dream telling sessions, they thought it makes him unique from others. Those eyes, I see myself.
After his name was announced, I decided to take a rest on my office. Sitting for so long with a dense crowd is still exhausting for an old man like me. In the room, wall shelves filled with books cannot be found on every household. The society only provide books of rules and records.
The Committee of Elders decided to choose someone from the Twelves, and I think he's coming here in my room soon to start our session.
The rest's over and another day to live for. I heard ringing of bell outside the room.
PAGING, THE GIVER. He's here already.
I. HIM, the chosen one.
I was a minute late because I passed on the House of the Old first before the Appex building. I have a friend named Fiona, and this morning, I have seen something. Her hair looks different, I really see something. I told her about this thing, but she didn't know.
And now, I'm here on the Appex Building. Nervous always at first times, so I think it's really normal. At the room, I saw an old man they said was the Giver. I have no idea what assignment I have, but my selection has so much honor. I remembered that last day when they shout my name, I felt like I have the most important assignment among the Twelves.
And then, I saw those pale, eyes-same as mine.
"Sorry," he spoke. But, I don't permit anyone in my room to apologize. That's a part of his assignment. I told him not to, and reminded him to read the rules on his folder. I see, he realized what I have said.
RULE 1: There's no room for apology.
Why do I have to feel guilt in this assignment? Is this a part of the session? But, he let it pass away and proceed to the main objective. He gestured to me to lay down on bed facing the floor, and so I did.
I closed my eyes, and his hands touched my bare back...
The feeling-I don't recognize, but, it gives me a pleasant feeling. I was in a place filled with fresh grasses, and the light coming from the distant part of that wide canvass. I can't tell its name, but it is something... warm. It is warm. That is what I longed for.
"Have you feel that?" I asked the child. He nodded and smiled, savouring the new feeling he received. He can't recognize it, so I told him,
"Sunlight."
II. WARM, but as I take time so long, it stings to my skin...
He passed another memory of sunlight, but this time, it's painful. I thought this would be as good as the first memory, but I didn't expect it. I already experienced pain before, but we are given immediate medical care. But, one rule on my assignment states that:
RULE 2: No medications allowed for session-related injuries.
Am I supposed to feel the pain forever? But, it is a part of my assignment, maybe I have to endure this and not tell to anyone. Just between me, and the Giver. Wait, what do you called this pain?
"It is sunburn."
Do I have to give him more? Maybe, this is enough for today. One good memory, and one bad memory is enough for a day. I hope, he can endure these this.
I gave him the memory of the colors. People in our society doesn't know the colors here in this world, but beyond where we are, I know, more colors will show to this kid.
III. COLORS, is that what I see on Fiona's hair?
That is what he called Red. That color I see from my friend's hair, and also the apple I played with Asher. And from the flesh of the crowd. It is what I see. Every thing in our society has no color, but is this an ability? Or it's just they forbid us to see the reality that everything has differences?
All I see is monochrome since I was born, but everything makes sense when he gave me the memories of the colors. It makes each individual unique from the other. And I see, I had a pair of green eyes, that makes me unique.
Since, I have a lot of questions in my head, and realized a lot of things, I asked the Giver if I could also asked my parents about this thing, but another rule forbids this...
RULE 3: Whatever you have on your session, do not tell it to anyone. Those should be kept in these four corners and walls.
He should understand why we should strictly follow the rules. I fear what will happen to this kid if he told anything for his learning to his family members and his friends. I'm sure, it will bring confusion to the community and, the Committee of the Elders will end up in the decision of throwing him to Elsewhere.
That was the place where they throw those who have violated against the rules they set. The rules, for sure, will be broken, after the freedom shows to us who believes to the existence of the living society.
IV. JUST PAIN.
Every day, I receive more memories, but most of them are painful memories.
A scene of a dying man in a field, shot and is bleeding. This must be so painful for a person who have engaged in a war. Many people died because of bullets and arms. Hatred, wrath, have dominated them, and that caused chaos. The motherland became the bed of dead bodies. Its tears are blood, crying for the peace she wants. She doesn't want to see her sons lying on the ground, she just wanted... Peace.
There is this malnourished child I have met in the memory, who decides to steal a fruit from a stall, but was captured by those armed men. As a punishment, they gave a mouthful parsel of very hot liquid to the kid. They didn't listen to his outcry. They just gave a punishment without knowing his motive. I realized that there are places in Elsewhere that are not safe for children. They need care.
I think he have felt more pain right now. How I really wish to stop myself from passing those memories, but I saw a brave child just in front of my eyes. But, what I have given is enough. It's so much painful for a Twelve to bear.
The loss of Rosemary is still a mystery for them, but I knew what happened. I know, I and this child are the only ones allowed to see them being disposed to another kind of world. And, what happened to Rosemary, is the same as the ones who were gone in the community. I will be one of those soon. Old age leads me to it.
This kid is my hope to save a seedling. For, every memory I have given to them, is to test his courage to face the reality of life. I hope, he can save the child, with those pale green eyes.
