ISSUES II outer banks

kooks

"JJ Maybank is my risk."

❥

The next few days we've mainly spent separated. Kie was smoking a lot of weed and acting more rebellious than usual. Pope was trying to stay calm and help her as much as he could. Meanwhile, JJ and I were trying to stay strong together. 

Apart from grieving, I was afraid of JJ and I ruining our relationship. I expected us to be mad and retreat from each other and our friends but we did the exact same. We helped each other. I mean, we mainly smoked weed together when he wasn't working at the country club but that's what we needed. And apart from that, I did what I had to do while JJ was working although he would hate me for it.

"What are you doing here?", Rafe greets me surprised as I walk over to him in the garden. His face looks better. There are still some cuts on his chin but overall, he looked better than I expected. "I needed to see how you're doing. Pope had a pretty good right hook on you."

"He didn't even get hold of me", Rafe denies. I ignore him being childish once again and trace over the bruises on his chin with my thumb. "You look a lot better", I state surprised, "I was worried that Pope would have hurt you a lot more."

"Bella", Rafe sighs, takes down my hand and instead, he lays his hands on my waist and comes closer. It takes a few seconds for me to realize that he's going to kiss me but when I do, I jump back and shake my head. "Rafe, what were you thinking? That's not why I came over. I just wanted to check on you." 

"Is it about him, Bella? You know I could give you so much more than a pogue, especially JJ fucking Maybank." "Give me?", I scoff angrily about his outburst, "Do you remember what you've done? Do you really think that after all, I could still be with you? This isn't about JJ or me, this is about you. I only wanted to help you, be someone safe for you to be around, and don't be dragged into jealousy attacks." 

"Where are you going? Back to him?", Rafe yells at me when I walk away from him and decide to head home. "What's it to you, Rafe? Even if I wasn't with JJ, the only chance for you to be friends with me would be if you changed completely and we both know that you never will. I've tried my best to help you but I can't let you drag me down. I lost my best friend, you know. None of my so great kook friends has checked on me", I snap back and leave the property hopping onto JJ's bike which I borrowed.

Rafe

I'm sorry Bella

I don't know why I lose control so often

I didn't mean to be like this

I could never really be mad at you

Please answer me

Bella? Are you okay?

Bella

leave me alone, Rafe

I'm done with your bullshit

no Bella, please

let me explain it to you

I'm pretty sure what he would tell me and I already know that he won't stop texting me even if I answered so I decide to not look at his messages anymore. I might try talking to him again to help him but not right now. I just hope that someday, I'll be able to help him and he'll realize what he did. He's so obsessed with his dad that he really seems to be believe that he saved his dad. But if I could help him realizing what he's done, maybe he'll confess the truth one day and that would help redeem John B's name.