ISSUES II outer banks

goodbye for now

"It's not a goodbye, it's a see you later."

❥

Rafe wanted to see me and I needed to see him. And I knew exactly where I would find him now that the police is looking for him. "Have you seriously tried to kill your own sister?", I snap at Rafe as soon as I enter Barry's premise and see him in the garden. Luckily, I know that no one would see me here so no one would find out that I talk to Rafe. "I.. I freaked out.. I didn't know what's going on with me and I regret it, okay!" "Oh, you regret it.. very emotional, Rafe", I roll my eyes, "I know you hate how she's been treated way better than you were but that's your dad's mistake, not hers." 

"Can you please stop yelling at me?", Rafe sighs giving me a sad look, "I can't see you being mad at me." "And I can't see you doing stupid stuff, Rafe", I reply calmly remembering that I am one of the reasons why he became who he is, "I'm sorry. It's just.. Topper has told me that you weren't high. How could you willingly attack your own sister, Rafe?" "I don't know okay.. I wish I wouldn't have done it", he stammers looking down, "I didn't mean to hurt her. I promise, I'll never touch her again." 

"Rafe-" "Please, you need to believe me, Bella." "Very emotional, country club", Barry suddenly appears eyeing me, "What is the pogue princess doing here?" "None of your business", I hiss rolling my eyes as I remember that anytime that I've seen him, nothing good happened. "No need to be rude like a brat." "Hey, don't call her that", Rafe quickly warns him but Barry laughs. "Or what? The police is looking for you all over the island. I could tell them where you are." 

That's when it hit me. Rafe ending up in prison. Is that what I want? Do I really want him to be imprisoned for probably the rest of his life? All I actually wanted was John B to be free. "I need your help", Rafe says looking at Barry, "You need to help me get away from here. I've got money here as well as a sort of compensation." Barry laughs arrogantly, "You stupid kooks thinking money could solve everything." 

"Well, looks like you're the stupid one taking it then, right?", I sass knowing that he would help Rafe if he gets the money. "As I've said before, rude like a brat", Barry snaps back at me not handling the fact that I've made a point against him well. "Rude or honest, whatever you wish it's called", I roll my eyes once again, "Prepare the boat already." At least he's doing what I told him to do now. "What are you doing, Bella?", Rafe asks me with a thin voice as soon as Barry is far enough away so we can talk alone. "What does it look like?", I sigh, "Letting you leave." 

"After all that's happened? Why?" "I don't want you to end up in jail, Rafe. All I wanted was John B to be free and be around my friends. If this is the moment in which I have to decide between never seeing you again because you're in jail or because you had to flee, I'd rather want you to be somewhere else. You've done bad things, but I'm not saint either. I've let you down many times thinking you would make it all by yourself although you're told me you needed me. I'm sorry for that. But I won't let you down now", I admit and sigh being ready to hug him one last time. 

"I love you, Bella, I really do. I know you gave up on our relationship and you had your reasons for doing so but you never gave up on me, not even now. I hope that you can forgive me one day", Rafe whispers and pulls me close quickly before he storms off with Barry. He's not given me a chance to reply. He wanted these words to be his last for now.

"Bella", Topper greets me surprised when I appear on the porch to his house, "I didn't expect you to come over, especially not now." "Well.." "They're looking for Rafe", Topper tells me and I nod sighing from exhaustion, "I know. I just said goodbye to him." "You said goodbye.. as in they've caught him?", Topper asks shocked but he also seems to be glad about it. 

"As much as I know, he's ran away with the help of Barry." "Did you let him just run away?", Topper asks me confused, "You've said yourself that he killed Sheriff Peterkin." "I know and don't think I will forget what he's done to Sarah yesterday but I couldn't let him end up in prison. He would be imprisoned forever." "And what about what he's done to you?", Topper argues once again worriedly. 

"What about all the good things he's done for me, Top?", I reply frustrated, "He's not always been a bad person, you know. I've realized that if I hadn't let him down.. if I hadn't distanced myself from him and what we've had, he might not have freaked out like that. I could have helped him with his dad but I didn't. Sheriff Peterkin could still be alive." "Don't blame yourself, Bella", Topper tells me softly and pulls me into a hug, "None of this is your fault." "I've abandoned him, Topper, and now he's gone."

"Rafe?", I whisper surprised when I see him standing in front of my balcony, "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in college?" "I've missed you, baby." I chuckle regarding the circumstances as Rafe is standing in front of my balcony at midnight, "You're crazy, Rafe." I say this jokingly and with a smile on my lips. "So can I see my girlfriend now or what?", he laughs back and I nod. 

"Kie's out with friends and my aunt and my uncle are on a trip. I'll come downstairs. Let's sit down in the garden", I suggest and run down quickly to finally let myself fall into his arms. "I've missed you, too", I mumble into his neck. We haven't seen each other for more than week. When Rafe first went to college, he came back every weekend but as he had a lot more to do, he comes home every second weekend now. It's unusual for him to be here today as he just left for college a few days ago. 

"Let's lay down on the loungers and watch the stars tonight?", Rafe suggests and I nod smiling. He takes my hand and leads me outside so we can lay down. We lay there and talk about everything that's going on at the moment. I told him that Topper finally asked Sarah out yesterday and that Kelce broke up with Kayla. Rafe tells me about his new friends at college and how he's doing regarding his classes. 

"That one is beautiful", Rafe says pointing to one of the stars, "Of course not as beautiful as you." "Cheesy", I chuckle feeling my cheeks blush and take his hand. "Bella?" "Hm?" "I've never thanked you so thank you." "What for?", I wonder turning to my side so I can watch him. "For not breaking up with me because I went to college. I know it's not easy and there are many guys who'd like to date you so I appreciate you being loyal although I'm not here all the time." "Of course, Rafe. Why wouldn't I be? I love you." 

"I love you, too", Rafe sighs and I get the slight feeling that something's wrong. "Tell me about it, baby", I ask him so he can finally let go of the thoughts that seem to hunt him. "I can't hide anything from you, can I?" "You shouldn't even try to." "To be honest", Rafe begins sighing and he rubs his temples, "All those stories about college and how great it is are lies. I.. I mean I've got friends there but I don't seem to get along with the people like I do here and I'm not really enjoying it which reflects in my bad grades." Well, that's completely new information to me.