ISSUES II outer banks

break-up

"My biggest regret is falling in love."

❥

Before heading to my friends, I decide to give it one last try showing my parents how important they are to me. As my dad's been a pogue fighting for my mom, I thought it's better to talk to him. "Dad, do you have a second for me?", I ask unsurely standing in front of the office as he looks up to me. "What do you need?", he asks surprisingly nicely. "About our discussion earlier.." 

"Isabella, please." "No, dad, please let me explain something, alright?", I beg him desperately, "The pogues are my friends. Pope, John B, JJ, Kie and I are best friends and we support each other. I know how you like people who work for what they've got and they do so. You can't tell me otherwise." "Well, Heyward's son and John B have been working for it", he agrees. "JJ as well, dad, no one just knows about it or takes him seriously. All I want to tell you is that they're not as bad as you think and that it's not them who have a bad influence on me. I know I've been staying away a lot and I try to do better but please don't cut me off of my friends." 

"Isabella", my dad sighs, "All we want is you to be safe and with your family. Since we came back, we've seen you twice quickly and you only fought with us. If it's not the pogues then what is making you act this way?" "I just want to experience more and have fun, that's all." "Or do you just want yourself to be in danger?", my dad shakes his head, "What about the experiences when we flew to the Bahamas with the Cameron's? Do you even see what we're doing for you? I know that Rafe has other problems but he's always seen what Ward does for him and the kids and appreciated that. And you just go and leave us behind no matter how hard we try." 

"No, dad it's just-" "It's just what? You want the pogue life more than your family?" "No, dad. I want it all. There's nothing that I want more than to spend time my family but the pogues belong to my family as well. That also involves JJ because.. I love him, dad, okay? I love JJ and please don't make it so hard for me to be with him." "Since when?", my dad suddenly asks angrily, "Since when are you dating Luke's son?" 

Why is he always referring to him as Luke's son? "A few months", I answer wondering why he suddenly became angry. "You've lied to all of us for a few months? See, that's exactly what I mean. You're not going to see him again. I'm done having these discussions with you, Isabella." "Dad, I love JJ, you can't-" "Yes, yes, I can. When I see you around only once, you're back in New York the next second. If you don't distance yourself from him, I will do it for you."

Knowing what I risk, I go to the dock where I see my friends. Luckily, my parents are too busy with Ward's legacy. "He deserved it, right?", JJ asks the others sounding unsurely. "Are you joking?", Kie replies coldly, "Of course, he's deserved it." "I've never seen someone explode himself", Pope states and I think back to when it happened. I could have lived without this experience. "One thing less that I always wanted to experience", JJ adds. "JJ." "I'm sorry for Sarah", JJ admits as I get even closer. "Are you okay?", Kie asks John B sitting down next to him. "I'm not worrying about myself."

"Who are you worrying about then?", I wonder finally appearing behind them and the others turn around surprised to see me, "It doesn't look like you're worrying about Sarah." I didn't think I would have to snap at him already. He should have thought about what happend and the way he reacted letting Sarah grieve alone. "Iz, what the hell?" "No, seriously, does one of you has the slightest idea of what she might feel? Because I've been there watching Ward's video in which he's saying goodbye and how it made her cry." 

"Oh so you're hanging out with the Cameron's, great", JJ snaps sarcastically next to me so I roll my eyes already. As if that was so important right now. "And I've been there for her when she saw her dad exlode and none of you did anything about it. Has anyone of you even seen the look on her face or yours? She was devastated and you were almost glad", I critise them harshly not understanding how they can think that what they've done is alright. 

"You've been there because your families literally do everything together", John B replies not thinking about what I've said. "News flash, it might be hard for you guys to understand but some people actually like the Cameron's. Ward's made a huge mistake for which he deserved to go to jail but no one deserves death. Does anyone of you think about the family, about Sarah or Wheezie? Their dad died. You should know what it feels like, John B." 

"Are you thinking about them or someone else? Because it looks like this is a good opportunity for you to check in on Rafe Cameron", John B snaps back accusingly and I look at him in disbelief. They've got no idea what is going on with my parents being back. "Good luck solving things with Sarah", I just mumble and turn around. Why did I even come here in the first place? Maybe my parents where somewhat right about it. If John B can treat me like shit in that moment, maybe I should rethink the seriousness of our friendship.

"Iz, wait", I hear JJ calling behind me as I'm already back at the house so I turn around. I'm glad that he followed me and I can't wait to just hug him and feel like it's fine for a moment. As I step closer to him, JJ makes me stop. "We need to talk about Rafe", he says coldly and I step back again and already feel lonely again. John B's over there with Pope and Kie and JJ and I are supposed to be a team. After all, the only reason for me being angry with John B is that he didn't seem to care about Sarah like he should. 

"What about him?", I ask JJ confused. "If you want him, just go and get him. Get back to this relationship with a drug addict who hits you, but if that's what you want, then leave. Got it?" Apart from the fact that Rafe is more than someone who takes drugs, they way he says it all hurts. I haven't spoken to him since the explosion and this is the first thing he's saying. "J, I don't get it. This is not about Rafe", I stutter still wondering if he just broke up with me or not. 

"It's not?", JJ replies sarcastically, "Don't lie to me. It's the perfect opportunity for you to be close to that psycho." "JJ, I don't know if you forgot about it, but my parents are back and surprisingly, they still decide where I live. I came here although they forbid me leaving figure eight. I came here for us, the pogues, for you. If my parents find out about it, I'll be sent back to New York", I tell him honestly about the conversations that my family and I have had. It's always the same but they're serious now. They would send me back. 

"Maybe that would be better", JJ replies coldly and turns around to go back to the others wanting to leave me as I stand in front of the chateau crying. "JJ!", I call after him, "JJ Maybank, don't you dare leaving me here now. I came here for you and you're saying it's better if I was back in New York? How dare you treat me like that after all we've been through? We've been best friends and we're a couple. You can't do this to me." JJ has already stopped walking the moment I spoke up and went back to me looking at me coldly. 

"You're a kook, Isabella. Don't even act like you're a fucking pogue because you're not. And I definitely won't be dating a kook, let alone the kook princess who's involved with the Cameron's. I don't care about you anymore. Kie's hotter anyways", JJ shrugs and I open my mouth to reply but no words come out. Did he just really treat me like that? Did he just say all these things to me? "J, are you breaking up with me?", I whisper hurt by all his words. "Great, you finally got the memo. Don't come back here."