ISSUES II outer banks

not giving up

"Never give up on someone you can't go a day without thinking about."

❥

None of us knew what is left to say so I drove him home trying not to cry. As soon as we enter the Cameron's premise, he wipes away his tears and lets go of my hand to get out of the car. I'm afraid he would turn his sadness into anger, especially in front of other people. "Rafe, Isabella", my dad suddenly appears in front of me, "Have you told him?" I nod slowly now understanding what a massive impact all of this has on me as well. 

My parents are here, they've been friends with Ward and business partners. My dad grew up with him. But I don't see my dad suffering. Well, when did I ever see him somewhat emotional? Maybe when I've been little but definitely not since they've abandoned me. "Rafe, I'm so sorry", my mom grieves looking really sad. I haven't seen her as emotional as this before as well. "Thank you, Dana", Rafe nods professionally. 

"Come with us. Ward has left a video for you and your siblings to see", my dad tells us so we follow him to the dining room where Rose, Wheezie and Sarah are already waiting for us. Sarah doesn't seem glad about Rafe's return and I understand that. Rose looks glad about it and Wheezie's look changes from sad to relieved for a second. 

"Rafe, you're back", she states and hugs him and I'm glad that he also hugs her back. Wheezie needs him as well, she needs all of us now, especially as she's not understanding why all of this happens. "We're here, Wheeze", I whisper when she loosens the Rafe's grip and looks at me. "Now that everyone's here, we can watch this", my dad nods looking at Rose and she click the button to play the video.

"A smart men once said.. if you are born poorly, it's not your fault. But if you die poorly, it is your own fault." I lay my hand on Wheezie's shoulder to show her that I'm here for her when she needs me. She's the only one who doesn't even know what's going on so it must be even harder for her not to understand the situation. 

"I think in the end, I was too afraid of getting back to the beginning, too afraid of losing everything that I've got and that's why I lost sight of everything that I am, everything that I've always wanted to be. I've killed Big John Routledge, I have killed Sheriff Peterkin and I've shot Gavin", Ward continues speaking on the video and I look at the video in disbelief as he's finally admitted it, "My family gets everything that I have, of course. Harvey is going to take care of the business. Please, be there for each other, all of you. You will need support from each other."

I swallow knowing what this means in the first place. My parents are going to stay here and they're going to take over Ward's business which means we would still be involved in all of this. What will happen to the pogues and I? "Rose, I will talk to you later", my dad tells her and turns to me, "Isabella, to the office now." I look at my mom confused who nods so I follow her hoping that Rafe would still be here when we're done so I could talk to him. 

"What is this about?", I ask confused when we stand in Ward's office. "You're going to stay away from the cut. Ward is right, we have to support each other here so it would be great if you could not take countermeasures against us or Rose and the kids anymore." "When have I even taken countermeasures against them? I just came back from picking up Rafe from jail!", I argue not really feeling appreciated, especially now. 

"Apart from all of these troubles since you hung out with pogues this summer, your behavior has changed completely. You're rude, even now. Ward just died so please show some respect and don't be so rude." "Is this the pogues influence? Is it JJ's fault?", my mom asks worriedly and I roll my eyes mentally, "He's Luke's son. That's a complete risk." No, it's only JJ's fault that I'm actually enjoying life. 

"You just don't understand what is going on", I sigh shaking my head not willing to talk to her about it. "Of course it's us, once again", my dad lets out a frustrated laughter, "You've turned your back on us and the Cameron's so you better change back to the respectful daughter we've had and support us and Rafe. He needs someone now." Isn't that all I've ever did and all I try so hard.. being the daughter they've wanted? "Fine", I mutter knowing that they won't let me change their mind.

"Where's Sarah?", I ask Rafe who looks rather frustrated than sad, "Did she leave?" "Yeah", Rafe sighs, "Can we talk in my room?" "Sure", I agree nodding and follow him. As he enters his room and places his whiskey on the table, he reminds me of his dad. Rafe is trying so hard to make him proud, he's becoming a younger version of Ward. Rafe looks angry but I know that he's more than sad now. 

"I've told Sarah already that I just want to fulfill dad's last wish. I want us all to stay together and support each other. All of us. I know I've done stupid things but I am changing, Bella. I just wanted to tell you this myself. I've also apologized to Sarah. I know I can't change what has happened, but I can change who I will be. And all I want is to be a good businessman like dad and a good family member for you and the others." 

"Thank you, Rafe. I appreciate that you've thought about it and that you're working on yourself. I'm glad you're doing it especially for yourself. You need some rest", I say softly and give him a light hug. Losing Ward might change everything for him. "I also want to thank you for being my anchor, Bella. I've realized that you're the only person that I can count on. I know I haven't always treated you like I should have", Rafe admits softly, "And I'm sorry for all the hard times I've put you through and what you've seen me do." 

I don't know what to say. I always knew that it's just a part of him that was triggered by his dad's behavior and me leaving but hearing him admitting this hits differently. It takes a lot to admit a mistake. "You've had a hard time, Rafe. I know what you've been through and I'm trying to be here more often to be a better friend now. I'm proud of you that you've realized what's been going on and I see that you're doing your best to be better now", I say accepting his apology. 

"So you're not leaving me? Because of my dad?" "No, of course I won't. It's got nothing to do with your dad, Rafe. I've been talking to you before, remember when we met at the beach? I've promised you to stay." "Yeah, I know I know. Thanks for not giving up one me, Bella."