Ashwin back in his apartment was lost in his thoughts. He had not expected any of what happened that day and honestly was not prepared for any of it.
When he had met her for the first time, he was at the lowest point of his life. She came out of nowhere and turned his life around in a way no one did, not even his parents. She showed him and the world a brand new version of himself which no one knew existed and it was that version of him which the world fell in love with.
He had the passion, hard work and perseverance from the start but none of it worked until she started cheering him. She believed in him and his ability to make his dreams a reality more than himself. And to him, whatever success, fame and love he has earned over the years, was just an outcome of her belief. No one could deny the fact that she had changed him and there was no going back.
When her father had reached out to him post their show, he understood the reasons for his insecurities and anxiety. As a father, he had to protect his innocent daughter from the negativity and cruelty of the real world. Ashwin knew that if he stayed, she would make him her priority and might end up sabotaging her life. He had seen how people trashed her for being vocal about her admiration towards him and the number of cheap trolls her family had to endure for no reason.
If he were to be honest, he wanted to just rip apart each person who shamed her with words that were even hard to read. But, he was at a juncture in his career where he had to be politically right and most times his hands were tied. He was forced to remain a mute spectator when the girl who had the heart of gold dealt with all the negativity and hatred that came her way single handedly, as a consequence of showering him with her unconditional love.
He could not keep this going even when he knew she would have gladly taken it all with a smile for him. What kind of a man would he be if he let that happen? He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he were that selfish.
At 30, he was mature enough to understand that his love for her may narrow her vision and end up being toxic for a girl who had just started to explore a world of opportunities which was wide open. He wanted her to live her life for herself and she deserved it.
He had a lot of unanswered question over the years. Why was she still protecting him? Why did she not share anything about their issues even to her close ones? Why was she not seen with anyone except her family or brothers even in the biggest of events? Why did she give up on social media that she loved so much?
He tried to convince himself and his weak heart with one simple answer that she was just too kind and too busy to focus on anything else. He hoped that she didn't even have the time to notice that he was gone from her life because thats what he gathered through casual conversations from her brothers.
He was astonished by how she managed to keep even her close ones fooled as they had never shared any concerns about her except that she worked too much. They all seemed to be completely convinced that she was truly happy with her work and success. But, all it took was one look at her eyes to see through the mask she wore for the outside world to hide her emotions.
He never doubted if he made the right decision three years back until today when all his assumptions were proven wrong by those welled up tears in her eyes. The angst and distress in her elegiac tone were constantly nagging his mind since the moment he left the store.
He remembered her last words,"Take Care", when he had bid bye to Mithra and herself. Why did she still care? After all the agony he had caused, why did she still care for him?
He picked up his mobile and started to play the playlist "Rowdy" which always made him feel better. It was playing on shuffle, he laid on his couch reminiscing a memory with each song that played until Nee kavidaigala that she had recorded in studio just for him as a finale gift started playing. Tears started rolling down his cheeks as if they had a mind of their own.
He wasn't thinking straight and he did not want to. He stopped the song and called "Rowdy 😎" which was still in his Favorites list.
Sivaangi was exhausted both physically and mentally after the unexpected meet. She had no energy to think about any of it and just settled on her bed with a K-drama playing on her laptop.
It had been a couple of hours and she heard her stomach make rumbling sounds which made her realize that she had not eaten anything for the last 6 hours. She was about to get out of bed when she saw her mobile ringing.
She picked it up without looking at the Caller ID as this was her personal number which only very few people had.
Ashwin on the other hand was not expecting her to attends the call.
"Hello"
He was beyond excited when he heard her voice come through but managed to control his emotions.
"Ma..." he said with a steady tone.
That's when she realized that it was Ashwin. She quickly took her mobile away form her ears to check the ID which read, "Manna 😍"
The silence on the other end was making him more anxious with every passing second.
Sivaangi: Sollunga
Ashwin: Un voice kekanum pola irunduchu
Sivaangi: Ketachula...? Vekren
Ashwin: Iru ma..
Sivaangi: Eduku?
Ashwin: Pesanum
Sivaangi: Enna pesanum?
Ashwin: Nerla...
Sivaangi: Mudiyaadu. Pesa onum illa.
Ashwin: Nee keta matum podum ma.
Sivaangi: Oru dhadava ketadhu podhaadha?
Her voice was now starting to break and he was well aware of the situation she was in right now because he was in the same condition.
Ashwin: Ma...Sivaangi Ma...
He now heard her muffled cries and all he wanted was to be there with her to console
Ashwin: I am coming to see you
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Thoughts? Good/Bad?
Tried to pen his thoughts and emotions after meeting with her. Though its completely fictional it makes me extremely nervous.
