When it comes to matters of heart, there was no right or wrong. It was all about a leap of faith. Though there were a million reasons for her not to take that leap for him, Ashwin badly needed her to hold on to the one reason why she should. On the contrary, it was a decision only she had to make and he had no choice but to be patient with her.
Despite all her efforts to resolve her conflicting emotions, Sivaangi was struggling with scars of the past spiraling inside of her.
He had extended his hand to show her that she wasn't alone in this. Not this time. She had him to lean on. That they were in this together. He wanted her to believe that there was still hope for them. The kind of hope her "Maybe" instilled in him.
With a cold breeze passing by, she saw how the stars that were shining bright on the no moon sky to light up the darkness before focusing on the hand that was yearning for hers. Her eyes locked into his. Brimming with warmth and hope, those eyes of his wrapped her soul with a tight embrace.
She instinctively wanted to give in to her temptations to just hold his hand and never let him go. That was what she would have done if she had the chance all those years ago only if had given her the chance. Now that it was truly happening, she desired to make a memory to cherish without her insecurities consuming her insides.
These complex emotions weren't alien to her but she had never tried decipher this tangled mess until now simply because there wasn't a reason to. Despite all of it, there was one constant feeling. Love. She was irrevocably in love with him and finally managed to let her heart take control.
Instead of placing her hand over his for their fingers to touch, she leaned onto him to place her head on his chest before holding on to his arm. He was speechless. It was better than his dreams.
Both were lost in a world of their own. She had completely bowled him over. All he wanted for this moment to last forever. It was too precious to move on from. If only he had the ability to stop time. After years of anticipation, this was one instant that will be engraved in their hearts forever.
The warmth of his body and the way his hands were holding her so gently were intoxicating her conscious, much more than any known drug. The sea breeze and sound of waves formed a perfect melody for their souls to dance in ecstasy.
He gazed at her while she was enjoying the rhythm of his heartbeat. Something she had always wished for. Though they had hugged each other a couple of times in the past, an unknown anxiousness had kept him from relishing their closeness. But this was different. Today was unlike any other. He let himself experience the pleasure of this trance before it was too late.
Living a dream that they had yearned for, neither noticed that hours had flown by until the Head Chef faked a cough to get their attention.
Sivaangi quickly pulled away from him and adjusted her hair while Ashwin straightened out his tee shirt before looking up at the Chef.
Chef: It's closing time sir.
Ashwin looked at the time at it was close to 11 PM. They had completely lost track of time while basking in the serenity.
Ashwin: Don't worry. I will let the security know when we leave. Neenga kelambunga.
Chef: Ok Sir.
The chef left with a knowing smile, leaving the two alone to cherish their rare luxury called privacy.
Ashwin turned to look at Sivaangi who was now leaning against the glass wall that overlooked the sea with her eyes closed. He sensed that something was daunting her mind and it was his responsibility to get it out of her.
He closed the gap between them and placed his hands on top of hers.
Ashwin: Sivaangi ma... Enna kovam nu ippo vachu sollu.
Sivaangi: Kovam illa...
Ashwin: Apo vera edo iruku
Sivaangi: I don't know how to express that feeling.
Ashwin: Enna thonudho sollu.
Sivaangi: Neenga keteenga ... andha dish sapta odana unga nyabagam varlaya nu.
Ashwin: Aama...
Sivaangi: But, did the dish not mean anything more than a dish to you? When you put that dish on a menu card for anyone to choose from, did you not feel like you were putting such a personal treasure for sale?
He would be lying if he said this was unexpected. He knew her too well.
Ashwin: What does your heart say?
She could not look at his eyes that were piercing into her sensitive heart. She was scared to open up her wounded soul for him to caress.
Sivaangi: Therila. Too many vacillating thoughts and emotions. Enna feel panren nu sola therila.
Ashwin: En kanna paathu pesu
Sivaangi: Mudila... Edho pannudhu. This is all very new territory for me.
Ashwin: Indha restaurant name enna?
Sivaangi: Amore Della ... something.
Ashwin: Amore Della Mia Vita
Sivaangi: So?
Ashwin: Love of my life. That's the meaning.
Sivaangi: Why do you never say anything straight forward?
Ashwin: I wished to stay with you forever but then all of a sudden I had to let you go. There was not a single day in these years that I did not think about you. Though, I could not possibly fulfill all you wished for, I atleast wanted to satisfy your craving. So, this. I opened this restaurant only for you. So no, I did not feel like I was selling something personal because it was all for you.
What was he telling her?
Before she could process any of what he just said that left her baffled, her phone buzzed and it was Ani. She had to take it but she couldn't stop the conversation mid way as well. She was so torn between the two but Ashwin gestured her to take the call.
Sivaangi: Sollu Ani. Bayanduten. En call panla ivlo neram? Don't you know how worried I get when you drive tensed?
The concern in her voice for someone else bothered him acutely. Maybe if he hadn't made the wrong decision, things would have been very different right now, he thought to himself.
Sivaangi: Na inum Inga dan iruken. Ashwin kooda. Anna ku edo work irundhuchu so Ashwin drop panren nu sonaru.
Why the hell was she justifying to him?
Sivaangi: Illa Ani. Stay there it's ok. I will reach home and call. Sapdu edachu. Ingaye you were just watching me eat. I want to see a picture of you eating in the next half an hour.
The entitlement in her tone was something he could not handle any further. He walked away to give her some privacy and give himself the much needed alone time to calm himself down.
She finished her call and walked over to the couch where Ashwin was seated.
Sivaangi: Apdi enna yosikreenga?
Ashwin: You and Ani?
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Thoughts?
