My Only Star

☣ 17 ☣

Blue woke up the next morning with a worst headache. His hang over is killing him. He sit on his bed and massage his head..when he remember what happened last night. G is on his unit last night he was so drunk that he can't remember what happened next.
But he remember that kiss. He hold his head when suddenly his started to ache. He slump back on his bed and cover his face with a pillow. He can still fill those kisses that G gave him and it make him more miserable. He pressed the pillow on his face and curled up in bed the urged to cry is starting to build again. He just realized how much he love G,and thinking him getting married and have his own life with someone is enough to give him so much pain. He let out the tears that he was holding and curled up on bed.

Maybe he needs to moved on with his life now. He is engaged and the next few months he will getting married and live with the person he marry and have his own little family and he don't have a heart to ruin that.

Blue get up from his bed and went to the comfort room he take a shower and brush his teeth. He stay under the running water for a minute and let himself feel the cold water to ease his hang over.  Those kisses that they shared last night will be the last memories of G.
He went out of the shower and wipe himself. Put on a comfy sweatpants and a hoodie and went straight to the kitchen to fix himself a coffee He found a painkiller and a note on his working table in the living room.

''Take this painkiller to ease your headache..G'' He read the notes and let out a sigh and went to the kitchen and take the painkiller. He fix himself a coffee and sit on his balcony looking at the busy road of Bangkok.

After sometime his phone rings so he went inside and answered it.

''Hello..''

''Hello Blue..how are you?'' Its Duke.
''I'm okay..'' He answered
''You leave the bar last night without telling us..its good thing G take you on your place..'' Duke said.
''He take me home?'' I asked.
''Yes,..you dont remember? You are so wasted last night.''
''Hmm..don't worry about me. I'm not gonna do something stupid. '' I answered them.     
   ''Okay,Just call us if you need someone to talk. You are one of us now Blue and we to help you feel better. Me and the boys is worried about you. I just want you to let you know that we are always here whenever you want someone to talk. Okay Nong?'' Duke said I can feel his sincerity on his voice and I felt their effort to call me despite their busy schedule..and I appreciate it.

''Yes Phi,Thank you''  I answered.

I hang up the call after we say goodbye. I let out a sigh and sit infront of my laptop and started to scroll on my IG..when the photo of last nights engagement party pop up on my timeline. Its the photo of us with the newly engage couple God and Tin. The girl look so happy while she show her ring..but God's face is just his plain reaction.he wasn't smiling he just serious.
I close my laptop and just sit there looking at the wall...

I opened again my laptop and check my emails..until I came across to the invitation of a company in New York. Its a month ago that they sent me that email inviting me to there company to work with them as an Editor in chief but I declined their but they said if ever I changed my mind I can contact them.
I read the email and sent them another emailand closed my laptop.

I went to the kitchen to fix some coffee..and sit on my balcony.  I was thinking about what happened last night..Those kiss..I really love him but he will never be mine. The sudden pain stab my chest,I blink away the tears that started to form on my eyelids..I don't wanna cry anymore.

I check my email again if their is any response from the company, And I got the answer.

They are still waiting for me. This is the best thing that I should do to walked away and leave. I will moved on and start all over again..I want my life back. I walked into my room and get ready I will go to my mom's house..
I take a shower and settle to a black pants and a white sweat shirts and a converse shoes. After checking myself on a mirror I decided to go..I get my phone,keycard and my car keys and went outside and locked my door.

Good thing that the elevator didn't take long to open. I walked inside and push the ground floor button.
The elevator opened and I went outside when I notice G coming in. I ignored him and walked pass him even if his fiancee greet me I just pretend I didn't hear them. I opened my car and went inside..I can still see them on my rearview mirror looking at my car. I put on my seatbelt and drive away.

I parked my car infront of my parents house and the butler approached me..I gave him my car keys and went inside.
I found Mom sitting on the living room reading a newspaper. She didn't know that I'm going home so she was surprise when she see me.
I hug her and give her a kissed on the forehead and slump myself on a couch beside her and lay on her lap.
She just caressed my hair while looking at me.

''What's wrong? Tell me..'' She asked me.
I did not talk and just feel her hands caressing my head..it gaves me so much comfort. My mom knows that something is wrong if I
just show up in her house unannounced and lay on his lap. She will just wait for me to tell her what's really wrong.

''I will leave for New York Ma.'' I told her. I get up and sit straight while waiting for her response. She looked at me like she already knows what happening to me.

''You'll leave because of God,right?'' She asked me still looking at me.
I looked at her with a ''how did you know'' reaction.

''Hyper told me. Don't blame him..I asked him when we are in G's engagement party..after I notice your behaviour that night..he want me to asked you but I know you will not tell me about it so I talk to him
You know that you can always talk to me right?'' My mom said..I removed my gazed to her and looked away.

''I will not stop you from your decision  Son, If this is the thing that will make you moved on do it. Me and your Dad is always here to support you..We love you so much son. And I don't want seeing you hurting..You dont have to think about me and your dad we are doing okay here..just do what's the best for you.'' I let out a deep sigh and hugged my mom.

''I love you son..choose the things that make you happy..you can get over this..I know it shall pass..Let yourself meet more people in NY and have fun.don't let yourself being isolated..dont think to much..always remember we love you so much..'' My mom said while caressing my back.

''Thank you Mom..I love you too'' I let myself indulged in my moms hug for a moment until I get calm.
''No matter how you grow up you'll always be my baby Kana..you can call me whenever you want someone to talk,don't forget that'' I let go of my moms hug and smiled at her. I feel so much better now.

''So when are you going to leave to NY?'' Mom asked smiling.
''Hmm 2 months from now mom,I need to finished all my paper works and my manuscript for the next month. I have some ducoments to processed.'' I answered.

''Hmm..thats good..your cousin Drew is in NY..did you talk to him?''
''Hmm nope..but Its fine I have my own apartment in Manhattan..I can stay there.'' I answered.

''oKAY just let your cousin know if you need something. He is willing to help.''
My cousin Drew is a citizen of NY and we are closed too and I can contact him when I get there.

''So you'll stay?'' Mom asked me ''I can cook your favourite.''
''Sure Mom. I'll stay''

                                                                                                                   ☣☣☣