My Only Star

☣ 29 ☣

GOD's POV
I sit on my bed after a countless times of tossing turn on my bed. I can't sleep. I check the time on my phone and it says 10:40 pm.
I stood up and put on my shirt and headed my way to the door. I decided to take a walk on the beach and I can see a bunch of some tourist seating on the sand busy chatting. I keep on walking until I reach the spot where no one is taking a stroll. I settle on the sand and lay my back using my arms as a pillow while I looked at the night sky full of stars.

I can feel the cold night breeze caressing my skin.  My mind is wandering. I can still remember Ken kissing his wife in front of me earlier. They looked like a happy family. I don't know but I feel a stab of pain on my chest just looking at them. I know I'm just mistaken him as Blue but I can't explain the pain while I watch them together. I sit on the sand and looked at the wave while it runs on the shore splashing the waves.

Just gather yourself G,he is not Blue. They are so different. And you are so stupid thinking that he is Blue..its been 2 years just accept it already and let him go. I let out a sighed. Maybe tomorrow I should go back to Bangkok I stayed here for too long already.
Maybe I just need to accept the fact that Blue is gone..I need to let him go but my heart is still holding on.
I'm sorry Blue. I want to let you go but I can't do it. 

''Can't sleep?'' I heard a voice at my back. I wiped the tears that fell in my cheeks and turned to look at Ken.
''Yeah,just getting some air.'' I answered. ''How about you? Can't sleep too?'' I asked him
''Yes, Just havng some bad dreams.'' He answered and let out a sigh while looking at the beach.

''I'll go back to Bangkok tomorrow.'' I said after a while. He turned to look at me.
''Ah..go back to work?'' He ask looking at me.
''Hm.'' I said and I looked away..
''The more I stayed here the more I miss Blue.'' I said.
''Blue?'' He asked.
''Yes.''
''The guy that died in a plane crush?'' He asked looking at me.
'' Hm..its my fault why he decided to go to New York that time. I choose my bestfriend over him. I was so stupid right?'' I said .
''If you really love him why you did not choose him?'' Ken asked me looking at me.
''Coz I already make a promised to my bestfriend that I will marry her and stay with her coz she have a cancer and she will not live that long so I choose to follow what we agreed but on the day of our wedding she did not showed up which I am so thankful but that is the day that Blue will leaving to New York but he got into a plane crush. If I just choose him he will not leave he will not be on that plane.'' Ken tapped my back and comforted me.
''And you said that its already 2 years ago maybe its time for you to let him go and find your own happiness. I'm sure he did not blame you for what happened..he will be much happy seeing you happy.'' Ken said. 
I let out a deep sighed and just looked at the waved.
''I know its 2years but it feels like yesterday. He was always on my mind. Everything I do for these past 2 years is all about him. I don't want to let go of him.I don't want to move on coz everytime I did it I lost all my motivation to live. I can't focus. I miss him so much. I just wanna be with him.'' I did not know that I was crying whaen Ken suddenly pulled me into a hug and he caressed my back. For that moment it feels like I came back to Blue's hug. On that living room on the day of my wedding day the time when Blue give me a hug and I kiss him for the last time.

After a while I let him go and wipe my tears.
''I'm sorry I just carried away.''
''Its okay.'' Ken answered me smiling. ''You are welcome to go back here if you want.'' Ken added while tapping my back.
''Hm. I will. And thank you. I enjoyed my stay here.'' I answered.
''Maybe you should bring your friends too,'' He said.

I was about to answer when my phone lit up and we look at it together. Blue's picture on the screen showed up. I turned to Ken and I saw him looking at my phone. He was looking at the screen then turned to look at me.
''Is that Blue?'' He asked me confused. I just nodded. He get my phone and looked at it intently.