My Only Star

☣ 30 ☣

KEN's POV
I was taking a walk on the beach when I saw G sitting on the beach seemed to be deep in thoughts. I approached him and it seems like he was crying. I seated beside him.

''Can't sleep?'' I asked him. He looked at me and nodded.
''How about you?'' G asked me.
''Just having some nightmares and I can't get back to sleep.'' I answered him.

We talked about Blue for a while and I can feel that he really miss him. I feel bad for him. I just meet him for just about 5days and it seemeds like he was okay. But the weird things is everytime I talk to him there is this random feelings that I can't fathom. It feels like I already knew him.

He was crying while he talk about Blue and how Blue get on that plane and get into a plane crush. He was blaming himself for what happened. I don't know what I was thinking but I pulled him into a hugged and comforted him. The hugged seems so familiar. After a while G let go and he was wiping his tears. I just meet this guy 5 days ago and it feels like I already know him all my ife. I feel weird feeling this way. And those dream of some random people that I didn't even know and I didn't meet them before.

We are just chatting when G's phone vibrated and we both look at the screen. I saw his screen. The person on the picture. He look exactly like me. I look at G who is still looking at me too.
''Is that me?'' I asked him confused. G looked at me and shake his head.
''No. He is Blue.''
''But..''
''Yes you are look a like. Even your voice is the same. At first I really thought you are Blue. But I realize you're not him. And you are main reason why I'm here in the island. I know Blue died 2 years ago but I can't get myself to accept it. So when I saw you outside the stadium that night I hired an investigator to investigate and locate you.'' G said. I was shocked on what he was telling me right now. A stranger come in the island and all I know is he is just a normal tourist in the island but now I will find out that he is actually stalking and investigating me just because he thought me as his lover. What the heck is wrong with this man. I looked at him with an angry face. Trying to calm my nerves not to give him a blow in the face. I stood up.

''You actually stalk me and get me investigated just because you thought I'm your dead lover huh? I really thought you are just one of this islands tourist that want to enjoy the island so I entertain you but you..'' G stood up and looked at me in frustration.
'' I know,,I know I was wrong and I'm so sorry for that..I'm just mistaken you as Blue. I'm really sorry Ken.'' G said and he leave to go back to his cottage. I sit on the sand trying to calmed down. That Blue we really looks a like. Its like I was looking at my own reflection in the mirror. I let out a deep sighed. I can't blame God but he violated my privacy..

But until now I can't really remember half of my life. It feels like I was walking on a whole new world clueless in everything. I don't even remember my wife and I's marriage although she showed me a lot of pictures of our marriage and tell me a lot of stuff that I can't remember I had this feeling that I was so clueless. And I have this weird dreams every night that someone is calling me but I can't remember their voice. And everytime I walk on my dreams and try to find them I will woke up full of sweat and tears in my face. I had this dream for a quiet some time now.

I scratched the back of my head trying to process everything that happened earlier. I lay my back on the sand and looked at the stars. The sounds of the waves crashing is making me calm.

''Ken? Wake up!'' I slowly opened my eyes and I see that its already morning. I saw my wife staring at me. I narrowed my eyes and realize that I spend a night on the island.
''You spend a night on the beach again. Beau is already looking at you when he wake up.'' She said and I stood up. I shake off the sand on my shorts.
''SorryI'm just getting some air last night when I over sleep.'' I said. I remember what G and I talked last night.
''What's wrong?'' She asked. I looked at her and just nodded.
''Nothing I just remember something.'' I said and we headed in our house.

I was sitting at the bench outside our house trying to catch some air when my wife approached me. She hugged me and kiss my neck.
''What are you thinking handsome?" She asked kissing my neck.
''Hm..everything. I want to remember how we meet,about our wedding everything. I feel so lost and clueless.'' I said while looking at the beach with some people laughing and enjoying the water.
''Why you need to remember all of it when I already told you about what happened to you. Are you not happy with me and Beau?'' She asked me..I looked at her and hold his hand.
''No thats not what I mean. I really want to remember everything coz it consist my memory of you and Beau..I want to remember those memories coz it feels like I don't really know myself.'' I answered.
''Hm..okay. Anyway,did you drink your medicine already?'' She asked me.
''Yes,I'm done.'' I answered.
''Ok. Just take it slow Ken..You'll remember everything soon. Don' force yourself coz it might hurt your head again.'' She said.

Maybe God now is on his way to Bangkok. He will not come back on the island after our argument last night. I feel violated but it even feed my curiousity about my past. It feels like I need to do something to gain my memory back.