AMAANI COMPLETE ✔️

'22

                 Life isn't about the quest for pleasure or monetary gain but a voyage into the unknown. You're not suppose to have all the answers but your quest is to seek out meaning amongst the unknown. Pick out among what you find what gives you joy and a sense of purpose.

You will find the place where you were meant to take your stand.

I couldn't know Where I was or whether I was alive

but I pray I'm not,my body is numb I can't breath, i can't feel my legs nor my body move,I'm in a white clothes but why ain't the angel asking me questions already?no it can't be,will I be able to pass the questions and finally go to jannah?is it perhaps a Friday today?for the angels don't ask questions on fridays because they're at the mosque?will Allah almighty forgive me for committing suicide?ooh Allah I fear the answers,I fear now,I fear meeting my lord,I'm so much in pain and fear,but why isn't the angels here?could I be alive,could I get a chance to make up for my mistakes?will I ever be able to see nature and it's beautiful surroundings?the clouds,the animals the roads,cars and houses?ya Allah I have no courage to face my family right now,I feel so ashamed and right now I'm in between life or death even though it's seems like a dream.

        Why are you alive Amaani? but could I be really alive?or  maybe perhaps dead?im going hungry for this answer!

You did not choose being alive at the beginning. It was out of control. You were made. And you rose. And you became a person that can decide. A person that can decide to live or die. A person that can find an answer to the question "Why should I stay alive?" My inner conscience speak up.

       

Indeed to find the meaning of life, we need to find the source from which life is created and develops.

The source of life is the upper force.

We can call the upper force "the Creator," the "upper light," "nature" and many other terms, but essentially, there is a source of life, and the question about life's meaning and purpose stems from it. Ultimately, we exist in order to attain the meaning of our lives.

How we attain the meaning of life is another question.

How can we attain the source of life?

It is a question that humans specifically ask, and not all kinds of forms and organisms on the still, vegetative and animate levels of nature.

  I have often wondered the same thing. Depression is so cruel, painful and horrible.

When you are in it you can't see anything else in the future except more misery. Hope does not exist.

You think everyone would be better off if you were gone. And you just want the agony to end.

I still experience times where I seriously consider suicide. Just. To. Make. It. Stop.

When it gets completely overwhelming and I can't tolerate the pain anymore and am sobbing uncontrollably for hours, I have to take enough meds to knock myself out for a while.

Because if I don't I know I'll harm or kill myself.

I feel like I have accomplished nothing in my life and have nothing to contribute to this world. I feel like it will be this way for the rest of my life.