thirty-two

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EL'S POV

i feel invaded.

i feel what mother felt.

a week has passed i think and he has touched me countless of times. now i wish to be saved.

i don't care who it is, mike or lucifer. please just save me before he rapes me.

i'm scared. i don't think i ever feel scared but for some reason i am.

maybe it's because a little part of me thinks i will die here within days when he does go that far or maybe it's because everyday he comes and tells me stories of my childhood as if he was there with me.

i just want to leave.

i want to go home, i want to sleep in my bed, maybe even watch a movie with lucifer. i want to cuddle milo and i want to see if mike will come back for me within the week that i'm here.

i say i don't want him but i do. he hurt me but i also hurt him.

i want him back but i'm scared to see him and be with him the way i was before.

maybe if he comes save me, i wouldn't be as scared. i know he is scared of his father, i know it. so the possibility of him coming to save me is slim.

slim.

that's what i am as of the moment.

i haven't eaten this whole week. the food is shit. but it's not like i crave the food anyways.

i'm happy i don't have the urge to stuff my face with food in here. the food is disgusting enough to make myself stop the growling in my stomach.

he stopped serving me anyways since i just take the cutlery instead of eating the food.

i was now curled up at the corner of the bed, knowing he was going to come in anytime soon to touch me in places i don't want to be.

i've never felt this way. i've let men touch me before. i've let them. but when he did it, i didn't want him to. i didn't change my mind and say i want it. i didn't.

i wanted him to leave me alone. i wanted him to give me some clothes and not just the tank top and shorts he has me in.

what makes me more terrified is that he did all this to my mother. he did it all and wants to do it to me too.

it's disgusting. how he can make me feel. how he makes me want to lay in bed forever and not utter a word.

hearing the large door of the room unlock, i turn my head away from it and let out a sigh.

i hear his footsteps getting closer. the only thing i hear in the room. the men he has placed in the room to guard me stays silent as they stand by the door too scared to move.

the cell of the room unlocks, the metal door bangs open and his footsteps get closer.

he drags me off the bed, landing me on the floor as he turns me to face the ceiling. he pins my hands on top of my head as i shut my eyes and wait for it to happen.

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