Finding Neverland // Peter Pan X Reader (editing)

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Everybody has a chapter they don't read out loud. Even if the words are screaming to be heard. Clogging your throat, scratching their way out but never making it to the light.

Have you ever been looked at like you might break any minute now? Like they feel sorry for the way you are but dreading the talk because they can't find the right encouraging words to say? Like they don't understand how you can disappear and come back with a smile no one can mistake for fake?

She can almost hear the wheels turning in their heads, only one question swarming unanswered. 'How is she not falling apart?' Because she walks around every day on the verge of tears, and they don't understand that even if she smiles she's not okay. Not even a little bit.

Keeping your head held high, your knees begging to touch the floor, eyes filled with tears on the edge to stream down her face, yet she smiles...laughs...and no one, not a single soul can tell just how she's become a ghost of the girl she used to be.

Maybe going back...no...there's no going back.

Reader's P.O.V

It was midnight. The streets were empty. Night hogged by silence. The silence was so loud that it woke me up.

It's a hustle to open my eyes let alone sit up to take deep breaths. Layers of sweat are covering every inch of me, so numb that I feel like I'm about to fall through endless nothingness.

I am not afraid.

I am not afraid.

Breath...Breath...Breath

I can't be afraid...

The night is my comfort... I won't be afraid of my home...

There goes the burning need to open my eyes...

I can't.

I won't.

Breath...Breath...Breath

I'm awake.

I'm awake.

Breath.

Breath and remember who the fuck you are!

Breath!

Breath!

A raging cry rushes out of my throat followed by my body jolting up.

Someone is screaming. Screaming as if their soul is being ripped apart. They need help.

I have to. I have to help them...

''(Y/N)!!!'' Someone forced me to look into their eyes. Tearful, worried chocolate eyes of my mother stared through me but not truly seeing anything. What is there to see?

''W-who was screaming?'' The hoarseness of my own voice made both of us flinch. She closed her eyes trying to hide the truth but the tears escape her, slowly rushing down her beautiful face.

I raised my shaking hand to catch them, freezing a blink away from her skin.

Broken nails that I didn't bother to file had somehow painted themselves red.

Mum took her warm hand away from my face to hold on to mine, slowly turning it over and gasping at the hidden painting.

''It was me, wasn't it?'' All said in a whisper, guilty whisper.

''Come here, my girl'' She took me into her soft embrace, trailing soothing strokes on my sweaty back.

I slip my palm over her shoulder, holding it in front of me. Nail marks etched so deep they drew blood, what is wrong with me...

Mum holds me tight, as if afraid I'll slip away from her... again.

My eyes drift over to the corner, a shadow of a figure focused on our embrace. For a moment my heart skipped a beat, for a moment my heart clutched on to that spark of home. For a moment though, the eyes staring at us did not belong to someone born in the darkness.

My father's blue eyes held mine for a second before they cast their gaze on my bedroom floor, pain latched on his face. Pain for me.

I was screaming...

•••●•••

''Hey! How's my main babe?'' Lifting my head to meet the gaze of my infuriatingly beautiful friend's caused a strain on my neck.

''Hi.''

''Now that's some excitement!''

''Oh, fuck off!'' Laughing with her felt easier, more carefree, but not quite real. ''I was reading,'' I added, showing her the title.

''Ooh!'' Her deep brown eyes twinkled as the realisation of what I was reading clicked. ''Got some spice there!''

''What did I tell you again?''

''To fuck off?''

''Yeah that, still on that note,'' I eyed the female seated in front of me. The cream coloured dress was surely complimenting her beautiful skin tone, a wise choice to give to her. ''You look good, I thought, we were opting for homeless today?''

Indeed, she truly made me look downgrade in my sweatpants and a turtle neck.

I noticed the gloss adoring Alina's lips, her hair shinier than ever and oh...

''Who?''

''That's why I love you!'' Much to my annoyance, Alina laughed out loud and went off about the guy she was supposed to meet up with. Third guy this week. Dang it, how can she do that so easily?

''You are hooking up with Mark? As in Mark Walter?''

''Uh-huh'' She sighed at my raised eyebrows, ''I know, I know he's an arsehole and all that but he's good in be-''

''Don't finish that, please!'' I exclaimed feeling the heat blooming on my cheeks.

''Oh, grow up!'' Alina clicked her tongue and got up from her seat. ''I love you all innocent even though the books you're reading scream far from that, but you really do need to get laid.''

''Alina!'' I almost threw my book at the brunette when the ladies close to our seat eyed us disapprovingly.

Alina turned to the elders and stuck her tongue out at them, ''What? Do you not know the term? It means she needs to have s-''

''Alina! Shut up!'' I shot up from my seat just in time to cover her mouth from saying anything else. Trying hard to conceal the laughter, I shot the elders an apology look and dragged her back to the seat.

''I meant it, I mean I'd volunteer too, but you are not ready for that yet.''

''You are something else,'' I know my face did not indicate how much my heart had warmed up in just a few seconds of Alina today.

''Meh, oh shit! Gotta go!'' After glancing at her watch, Alina kissed my (S/C) cheek and practically ran out of the library, but not before shooting a wink at the ladies.

''Girls these days...'' I could only roll my eyes at the women and chose to ignore their looks sent to me and my book.

It's been a long day... give me a rest.

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To my unbelievable readers,

Thank you so much for letting me share my work with you. I truly can't express how happy you make me with your votes and comments. I appreciate all of your support.

I had a long break from writing I know and I hope this chapter somehow makes up part of it. I'll try to be as active as I can, I was thinking about editing it all so that's coming too.

Thank you for everything🙏

Love,

Anna