- kinda sad content :/ - smut warning (like fr 😳) - ik i've used this concept so many times but it's so comforting to write. plus this is the first one i've made from his pov - cringe warning lol - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
vinnie's pov
the mental state i was in was so depressingly low. my attitude slowly began to change due to the lack of speaking my feelings. i preach getting help, but it's so hard. feeling like a burden is one of the absolute worst pains.
one more day i told myself. one more day. it was friday and then i had two days to just be with her. it was all i looked forward to every week. every repetitive week. they all felt the same. i just wanted to hold her. make all the stress and the built up pain go away.
~~~~
i was finally done with work and i was heading to her house. finally.
letting everything build up brings on many bad things, but one of the worst is the fact that the littlest things set everything off.
i was just sitting and driving and i began to cry. just because a sad song played. i was literally headed towards her and my eyes were gonna be all puffy, which only made me cry more, mad at myself for feeling normal emotions. i knew she'd never judge me. she'd listen to every word i had to say. she'd hold me. but the thought of dumping all my shit on her just didn't sit right with me.
i finally got to her house and i looked in the rearview mirror at my reflection. my eyes were a dead giveaway. what the fuck is she gonna say? i felt pitiful.
"hi baby!" she's so cute i love her so much. "hi!" i tried to sound like my throat wasn't worn from sobbing. her face softened. "vin what's wrong ?" i shook my head and walked in front of her, walking toward her bedroom. i was trying to hide my face. "hey...you've been acting different lately you can't tell me nothings wrong.. i know you better than that."
i sat my bag i had for the weekend down on the floor of her bedroom, and faced her. i looked down at her worried face. i held her face in my hands and kissed her head. "i'm fine baby.." she looked all over my face. "stop lying to me.. i hate it when you lie." i caved. "you're right. i'm not okay." i sat down on her bed.
"i don't wanna talk i just want to lay here with you and forget everything.." she walked towards me and stood in between my legs. she ran her fingers through my hair. her touch made me lean into her hands and close my eyes. i sighed a rough sigh, on the verge of tears again. i needed to forget. i needed it all to go away. i slowly wrapped my arms around her waist. i ran my hands up the back of her shirt.
she sighed. she leaned down and kissed me. "i'm so sad.." i whispered, my voice cracking. "tell me what's wrong love..please.." "just kiss the pain away.." i whispered. "what ?" she said confused. i opened my eyes and looked up at her. "kiss it off me." she looked down at my lips. then after hesitation, she kissed me.
little by little the pain faded and i went from feeling drained to only feeling her. it was only her lips. i pulled her on top of me. i pleaded against her lips. she whined, not wanting to give in. i knew she wanted to know what was wrong. why id been so distant lately. i pulled her hips into mine. i kissed her neck.
"baby..just talk to me.." her breathing was heavier. i didn't respond i just brought her lips back down to mine. i ran my hand up the back of her shirt again and undid her bra. "baby..." i flipped us over, taking off her shirt and bra. i pulled my shirt over my head and tossed our clothes to the side. her hands made their way back into my hair. i kissed down her neck.
i kissed her collarbone and then her breasts. i sucked marks into her skin. soft sounds left her mouth. she held my head down at her breasts for awhile. just feeling me kiss them and suck them. i continued to do so as my hand led down her pants. "please ?" i begged. "yes.." she whispered. i pulled them off and rubbed her clit. she opened her legs wider.
i took this opportunity to put a finger in. she moaned loudly, tilting her head back. i was still sucking her tits. i moved my finger in and out. "curl it.." she spoke. i curled my finger inside of her and her back arched. her moans grew louder. she gripped my wrist, pushing, making me apply more pressure. she moaned loudly and released. she pulled my face up to her and kissed me. "this is bad.." she said out of breath.
"oh but it's about to get so good.." i spoke as i entered her. she gasped, not expecting the change in size. i moaned, not being able to keep it in. "fuck you feel so good.." feeling her was enough to make any depressing thoughts go away. i was going slow. just taking in the feeling. she scratched at my sides. "faster.."
i picked up the pace, earning sounds from her beautiful mouth. i lifted her leg over my shoulder. she covered her mouth. i grabbed her wrist and pinned it down so she couldn't mask her moans. her other hand was gripping the blankets. i was going really fast at this point, hitting the deepest part of her. "jesus christ vinnie" she practically screamed.
i placed my hand around her throat. she was close, i could feel it. i released hoping she'd follow me and she did. i collapsed onto her chest. she kissed my head. "i was in need of endorphins.." i sighed. she chuckled. "me too..you still need to talk to me by the way." i gripped her sides. "mmm another round first.." i chuckled as i flipped her over.
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