You Are The Reason

CHAPTER 23: You Are The Reason

Ruslan's POV:

"I love you." I blurted out, instantly regretting it.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

You had to say it.

Her eyes widened, her body tensing underneath me.

Oh God. This is not how I planned on confessing.

"I...I..." I start to ramble. "I...um..." What am I even supposed to say? Sorry I said it by mistake?

That will be very stupid. Very, very stupid.

"Alfresca...I...I..." Maybe she will say it back. Maybe. Just maybe.

"Oh, fuck." I cursed loudly, closing my eyes tightly and rolling off her and laid beside her.

"I didn't plan on confessing this way. I just blurted out but..." I stared at the ceiling. "But, I love you, Alfresca. I really do."

I sighed deeply on getting no reply from her, I got up and glanced down at her. Her eyes glistening with tears.

Um...do people cry when you confess your love for them?

I was baffled but I took her hand in mine and intertwining our fingers, held it over my heart which was beating rapidly. And I stared into her eyes intensely. "You are the reason I smile more, you are the reason I laugh more, you are the reason joke more, you are the reason I am less aggressive now. You are the reason my heart skips beats, you are the reason I get butterflies. You are the reason I fell in love."

Her mouth slightly parted and she sniffed back her tears, closing her eyes. She pulled me closer, wrapping her arms around my body, hugging me tightly and I hugged her back, burying my nose in her hair.

I had no idea how much I wanted to hear those words from her too...I was dying to hear them.

But she never said them. Not when I kissed her and she kissed me back with equal passion. Not even when I made love to her or after her.

She never said them. I was disappointed but I was not going to force her to say it.

I'm glad she didn't say them just for the sake of it.

Images of all the things I have done over the years flashed through my mind. All the lives I took. All the families I destroyed. The horrified look on people's faces everytime they came face to face with me. Everything flashed before me.

Why will she love a monster?

.
.
.

"Please." The man whimpered, stepping back in fear. "Leave us alone."

I hate this. I hate doing this.

"You bluffed with us, Lucas. You betrayed us. I don't like traitors." I reminded him making him tremble as I cornered him in his kitchen.

"I'm sorry, Mr Searlus. But it wasn't me. Please." He pleaded.

I knew it was not him. I knew it. But mom still wanted him dead. If not for her, I would have let him go. This is so difficult.

"You should have thought before messing with us." I said coldly.

He shook his head frantically, tears running down his eyes. "No. I didn't do it. I didn't!"

Don't look at his face. Don't look at his face.

I felt my heart clench. I don't wanna kill him. He didn't even do anything.

But I had no choice. I never have a choice.

I slowly took out the gun from my coat's pocket and cocked it making him whimper away.