Chapter 47

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Happy reading xx

~Ray~

"Until I found myself falling for Erica."

My breath hitched for a minute and I completely pulled away from him, giving him a look. I blinked, rapidly trying to take in the little piece of information he'd given me. My chest suddenly tightened and I didn't know why I felt the way I did.

It was his past right?! I should put that behind and focus on us.

But I couldn't.

He liked Erica. He had feelings for her.

Zayn's eyes searched my face for some sort of reaction but I just couldn't do anything.

When I had told him about Dylan, he took it nicely, didn't he?!

Maybe I should too.

But then again, when I told him about Dyl we weren't together.

"Babe?! Rachael?! Say something?!" He asked, more like pleaded. I looked at him and inhaled sharply.

"A-and," I cleared my throat, ignoring the lump that was constricting it, "and what happened?"

Zayn sighed, but he knew I was uncomfortable. "I told her." I nodded because, I didn't trust my voice at the moment.

"She, ummm... rejected me. She told me she didn't feel the same way," he said.

"Oh!"

"She wasn't ready for commitment and we just... I just.. we settled for friends with benefits and I lost my feelings for her once we kept our relationship absolutely sexual and friendly. Maybe, it as just lust that I was feeling towards her and not the dense emotions I thought it was. I was attracted towards her and maybe she was the girl I was closest to apart from Summer and..." I abruptly stood up, cutting him off. Zayn gazed up at me and kept his eyes only on my face, which I was grateful for.

"I'm done bathing. You wash your hair," I said and stepped out of the jacuzzi and wrapped a towel around myself and walked out of the bathroom. I reached Zayn's dresser and grabbed one of his tshirts that he didn't use before slipping it on. I ran my hands through my wet hair and sulkily went over to the kitchen to make us some dinner. I was stirring some chicken gravy when a pair or arms wrapped themselves around my waist. I subtly tried to set myself from his grip but Zayn caught on. He held me tighter and kissed my shoulder.

"Zayn.." I breathed.

"What's wrong, Rachael?!" I shook my head and managed to unwrap his arms. I leaned my waist against the counter and looking over my shoulder.

"What are you talking about?!"

I heard Zayn groan. "Rachael, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Don't play dumb."

"What do you want me to tell you,
Zayn?!" I spun around, tears threatening to roll down my cheeks. "Tell me what do you wanna hear?!" I asked. Zayn looked shocked and hurt for a moment, before he recovered. He opened his mouth to talk but closed it again, wordlessly.

"What?!" I asked again.

My anger was pointless and I knew it, but I..

I slid down the counter and sat on the floor, picking at nothing. My lips quivered and I looked up when Zayn crouched next to me. I bit my lip from trembling, when Zayn cupped my cheek.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. I shook my head and pushed his hand off.

"I'm so done with this day," I whispered and switched the stove off and left the kitchen wordlessly. I robotically walked into our bedroom and curled myself into a ball, burying my face into the pillow. Before I knew tears were slipping past my nose.

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