Chapter 66

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~Zayn~

-:One week later :-

The minute Summer sent me the pictures and asked me if I knew about them, my heart was ripped apart. Ripped into tiny shreds... because I should've seen this coming. Somewhere in the bottom of my heart, I knew she still had feelings for Dylan and I was hoping to change that with my love for her. I wanted to be mad at Summer for sending the pictures to me, but I think I wouldn't have it any other way. I had a sliver of hope that Rachael would tell
me about the kiss. I would've forgiven her, hell, I love her. I would do anything for her. But I grew tired. There was only so much I could wait. I knew, I shouldn't push. Love wasn't something that can be pushed, but I hoped, I just hoped she'd love me back the way I did for her. Twitter was exploding with my mentions and I had management calling me.. but I couldn't bring myself to function because I still wasn't ready to accept the fact that we were over. She left and I did nothing to stop her. Only when I thought, I had found my forever.

I was breaking apart inside, inspite of strong outer façade. I was sobbing for help because I needed her. I needed her in ways I never thought I'd need someone. I never meant for it to end up like this, but maybe this was destiny's way of telling us this was how it was meant to be, since the start. Us- was never supposed to exist. But, man, she was best I've ever had. She was one hell of a girl. She fixed me in ways she never knew, intentional or not. She fixed my family, she fixed my heart but only to break it again. She was like an wound. My wound. But she hurt me so much, because she was my salted wound.

~Ray~

I was shivering as Drew picked me up from the shower, clothed and all as he put me on my bed. He moved quickly to pick some clothes out for me and handed them over.

"Ray, it's been a week, babe.." I continued crying, curling myself to a ball, rocking myself back and forth. "Ray.."

"I- I need.." I hated this feeling. I hated that I needed Zayn so much. I hated that I was fucked up. I hated that I didn't tell him that I loved him.

"Ray.. management wants to meet up with you. You're fine with that?" I'd already messed up, I couldn't afford to mess my band up, either. Or maybe I already did, with all those kissing photos coming out like that. I shouldn't mess it up that I already did.

"Drew..?"

"Yes, babe?"

"Are you mad at me? For kissing Dyl?"
He smiled a bit and kissed my wet forehead.

"He kissed you.. and you're away from the one guy, you want the most. I can't be mad at you and I'm not." I suddenly realised how much I had ignored Drew in all this drama that involved my love life.

"I love you, Drennan. Just don't forget that. Can't afford to loose anyone else," I said, tears slipping out of my eyes.

"I know, loser. Love you too. I'm sorry... it had to come down to this," he said with an apologetic smile. I shrugged.

"What did you and I expect? I'm Rachael Evans. Good things don't happen to me.."

"Don't say that.." he pleaded, holding my hands.

"It's true. I just messed with the one thing that was the best to happen to me for a while.. I- I love him, Drew and if I ever get a chance to tell him that, he probably won't believe me.. and it fucking sucks," I cried, "I hate myself for doing this to him, Andrew but this is what is right. I might love him, but he deserves so much more for being the person that he is and I don't want to be the barrier that's depriving him of that. He deserves to move on from somebody who can't even fucking weigh her own feelings for someone who didn't even know she loved him."

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