My Best Mates Sister

45.

Rosie

The last few hours haven't felt remotely real, I'm dying. I'm also pregnant and I'm going to have a beautiful baby who will get to be part of Charles' life for longer than I will. We haven't spoken since we arrived home from the hospital, I know he doesn't agree and it is going to cause an argument. The doctor went on to explain that the cancer will continue to spread at an increased rate, due to the growth hormones from my pregnancy. Charles was furious, he wants the 5 years together instead of the 12 months but either way I die and I would rather him have part of us when I go. He can focus on the baby and hopefully it will help him when I'm gone. Charles went straight into his office when we got home, he hasn't spoken to me, and it is making me feel guilty, I know it is my fault that we are in this position. I ignored my symptoms and I have got us in this position but there is no going back, only forwards and I need him to help me.

I have been curled up on the sofa trying to figure out how to tell everyone, what am I going to say to George? He is going to be supportive but I couldn't imagine a life without George so how can I expect him to live a life without me. The guilt starts to sink in as I sit alone in the lounge with my legs tucked under a blanket. The creak of the door alerts me to Charles entering the room "Can we talk?" He asks me and I nod patting the seat next to me on the sofa "I'm sorry that I haven't been here, I needed some time to think" I can't blame him for that "I get that, I have been doing some thinking of my own" he looks at me hopefully "I was hoping that we could talk about your treatment options" I shake my head, he is going to try to convince me "Charles, can I say my bit?" I request "Of course" he tells me and I take a breath before I start "I am going to die, I know it is scary and horrible but it is going to happen. If its in 12 months or 5 years that's what the outcome will be, I don't want to spend the time I have left feeling sick and frail. I want to spend the next 12 months with you, doing the job that I love and growing a baby that will be here long after I am gone" his face had fallen "Rosie, I know that this seems like the best solution for you, but I don't want a life without you, I want all of the time that I can get" he explains and I get it "Trust me I do get it, but this is my choice and I want to be happy and have a beautiful baby that I didn't get to finish growing the last time" he squeezes my hand "I'm sorry I didn't think about how before will effect you" he seems to get my point of view "I want a baby, I am pregnant, I am terminal and I want to be happy" I can tell he still isn't happy "Look Rosie, I will support you with all of this going forwards and I am happy that we are starting a family but please remember that all I want is you" I lean into his side "I wanted forever with you but I will take the months I can get" he nods and kisses the side of my head. Without him I don't know who I would be, he has been my person and I wouldn't get through this without him.

*the next day*

I walk into the factory on my way to talk to Binotto, I haven't told anyone but Charles about my condition. I know he needs to know as we are flying out to Canada at the end of the week. "Buon giorno Rosie" Ella greets me from the reception desk "Hey Ella, how are you doing?" She smiles "Good, excited for the weekend?" I nod my head before swiping through the gates and into the factory. I make my way over to his office and knock gently on the door, feeling very sick. He calls me in "Hi Rosie, how are you?" He asks gesturing for me to take a seat. I do and think about how I phrase this "I have a personal matter to discuss with you, I haven't actually told anyone but Charles yet" he looks at me intently and gestures for me to continue "I had some news regarding my health and it is going to have an impact on my work with the team" he nods "Okay, what is going on?" I take a shaky breath "I got diagnosed with stage 4 Osteosarcoma, It's an aggressive form of bone cancer and I'm terminal" he looks shocked "Oh Rosie, I am so sorry, as a team we will support you" he tells me and I nod "There is something else as well, I'm pregnant" he claps his hands together "Oh what joyous news to have! It's been highs and lows for you" he says and I nod "It is and me and Charles are excited to become parents, however being pregnant means that I cant have treatment, I have a projected 12 months left" he looks shocked "12 months? As I said Rosie we will fully support you, whatever you need" he assures me "I'm so sorry for joining the team, I feel like such a burden" he shakes his head "Rosie, you are the best at what you do and you are an asset to the team for as long as we get to have you for" I start crying "Thank you, it means a lot" he nods "Let me know what you need, but I would suggest you talk with your team and they can support you in the garage" he tells me and my heart sinks at the idea of telling Jake and Adam.