My Best Mates Sister

57.

Rosie

"Please come in Mrs Leclerc" The nurse tells me and I go into the doctors office with Charles close behind me, I had another PET scan last week and now we are here to discuss the results, with potential for me to start treatment once I have had my baby. I take a seat at the desk and my oncologist gives me a warm smile "Hello Rosie, how are you feeling lately?" She asks me and I know I can't tell her anything but the truth "Tired, really tired" she nods and notes it down "also my hip is giving me a lot of discomfort when I have been sat for too long" she nods and against notes down what I'm saying "Any shortness of breath?" She asks and I confirm "Yeah, even walking short distances is taking it out of me lately" she notes that down as well "Okay Rosie, your symptoms are matching with where your cancer has spread, there are mets on your lungs, liver and they are in more of your leg bones on the left hand side" I wince knowing that she is preparing me for bad news "your symptoms will only get worse, I am recommending that we deliver your baby early, in the time frame that has best survival rates for you both" I shake my head "I won't put my baby at risk, I will carry to term if there isn't a significant problem" I know that Charles wont like this answer one bit "Rosie, she is trying to save your life" he reminds me and I know that he just doesn't get it "I am not risking my baby, otherwise what would have been the point?" I look him in the eyes and I can see the wave of understanding in his features. He doesn't say anything else so the doctor continues "Rosie, I want to make this very clear to you, if we don't start treatment ASAP, you will only have a maximum of two months left once you have had your baby" I nod, I'm aware of my decisions consequences. Ive been going over them in my head for the past few months "This treatment will only delay the inevitable, if I have a chance to bring a healthy baby into the world who can live a long and full life then that is my choice"

Once we leave the doctors room we go straight down the hospital corridors to the maternity area "Mon amour?" Charles asks from beside me as we take a seat in the waiting area "Yes?" I ask him fearing an amount of backlash from the conversation that just ended "I love you" this catches me off guard but my heart flutters all the same "I love you too" he kisses me cheek and takes my hand as we wait to be called into the room to have our scan, its the gender scan and I cannot wait to find out what I'm having. It's scary as I did all of this before and still lost my baby, I dont want to risk that happening again. My other hand moves to my now very obvious bump. The media were all over it last weekend and speculation on the due date has already started online. Sometimes I wish I had a life out of the spotlight but then I look at my husband and I wouldn't change a thing. "Mr and Mrs Leclerc?" The nurse calls and we stand together ready to find out more about our little bean.

Charles

I sit next to the examination bed and notice the scanner already set up and ready, I cant help but feel nervous, not that I mind what gender our baby will be. I feel Rosie's fingers grazing my hand and automatically turn my hand so that I can grasp hers. I watch on silently as the nurse takes measurements of the baby and inputs them into the computer. After a few minutes she speaks "Are we wanting to find out the gender today?" She asks before showing us the screen, me and Rosie both say yes and she smiles "Perfect, well she looks very content in there" she? We are having another baby girl? I see the tears in Rosie's eyes as the nurse plays the heartbeat in the room. We are both in awe that we can hear our baby, a baby girl. After a few minutes the nurse gets our attention again "I do have some other news, your due date is slightly out, from the size of baby now I believe your due date is two weeks earlier 15th December" I couldn't believe what she was saying, Rosie will have more chance of having her treatment "Oh wow" Rosie says and I can see the smile over her features. This will be magical, more so if she gets to start her treatment and gets more time with us.

Rosie takes my hand as we walk through the streets of Monaco, we fly out to Singapore tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to the flight. Rosie gets so uncomfortable for sitting down for too long, she is suffering and I can't help her. We arrive at the apartment and I hear Rosie let out a contented sigh as she walks into the lounge. I know that she loves being here the most, this is our home. My feet carry me into the spare room and I can't help but start picturing my two girls in here at bedtime, stories and cuddles. It's all I want for my future is the both, it's all I want but I know I can't have it. She is going to be gone, March is the month that is coming too fast for me and especially for her. All of my hopes are on the treatment working enough so that I can have as much time with them together. As our family.