My Best Mates Sister

58.

Charles

I sprint through the paddock, barging people out of my way. Rosie just called me and told me she is at Williams but she didn't sound right. I take the steps into the building two at a time, i burst through the door and i see the medics surrounding Rosie. She is strapped up to some machines and I can't quite process what I'm seeing. Marcus is stood looking extremely concerned, I push through the people dropping to my knees next to my wife "Rosie?" I ask softly almost expecting her to respond. A medic gets my attention "Sir, I need you to give us space to work" I shake my head "This is my wife" A look of realisation comes over his face "Okay, we are going to take her to the hospital now, she isn't responsive at the moment, we were told that she has cancer?" I nod my head feeling the terror run through my veins "Osteosarcoma stage 4, no treatment" I mutter and the medic looks even more concerned "How many weeks pregnant is she?" He asks and right now I can't find that information in my head "I don't know right now" He nods "okay, we are going now, you are welcome to come with us" I nod and step away as they move my beautiful girl onto a stretcher and they start to carry her through the building. Just as they reach the door George bursts in "Rosie?" He asks desperately and I can't comfort him right now, my thoughts are all over the place. The medics have a conversation with him and he comes over to me "I will drive to the hospital, keep an eye on her" I nod and my feet follow the medics without me really thinking about it.

I sit in the waiting room as they work on my entire world, Rosie and our unborn baby girl. She is everything to me, she is my person. I tap my feet onto the linoleum flooring in the waiting area with George sat next to me. Lando is on the way and Alex. This could be it, we knew it was coming but I thought I had time, I thought we had a chance to fight this! I sit shaking my head and George places his hand on my shoulder not saying a word. The Doctor walks over after being in with Rosie for the past 3 hours. He has a grim look on his face and I'm already preparing myself for the worst. He stops in front of us "I'm so sorry" that's all I hear before my ears start ringing. This can't be happening. George tries to get my attention with tears streaming down his face "Charles you need to listen, you need to give consent" why? "Mr Leclerc, Rosie's cancer caused her organs to fail, her brain suffered a loss of oxygen and she is brain dead" the words couldn't be worse. I can't do this. I just can't. George looks at me and I try to focus on the doctor again "she is currently on a ventilator which is keeping her body alive, we need your consent to deliver the baby, she is 7 months, there is a high chance of survival at this time" He wants to deliver my baby? "Whatever you need to do, do what needs to be done" I say knowing that Rosie gave her life for this baby girl.

Rosie parents have now arrived and are sat with George, they are struggling as much as I am with this news. I thought I had more time, I thought we had time. My mum and Arthur took the soonest flight out of Monaco and I know that I need them, but no one can make me feel better right now. It's been a couple of hours since the doctor came to us and I know he is currently performing an emergency c-section to deliver my daughter. My daughter. I have one of those, she is real. I stare at the double doors, I don't know how long for when finally the doctor reappears "Mr Leclerc, please come with me" he gestures at the doors and I stand, unsteady on my feet. George grabs my elbow to steady me. I put one foot in front of the other til we reach a room. "Would you like to meet your daughter?" He asks me and I nod, part of me expecting all of this to be a nightmare and Rosie will be sat holding her. We walk into the room and I see my wife, attached to a machine. I can't help the sobs with leave my mouth. She is truly gone, she isn't going to wake up and give me that smile of hers that can brighten up a room. She isn't going to make one of her jokes or tell me off for being stupid. Reality hits that she isn't here anymore, she never will be. The doctors gets me attention and leads me over to an incubator and I see the smallest little baby I've ever seen, hooked up to more machines than her mother. "She is doing okay considering the circumstances, she will need to stay in the hospital" I can't take my eyes off of this baby, she is beautiful.

George

She's gone, just like that. We haven't seen her yet but the doctor has just taken Charles to see his baby, my niece. We were meant to do all of this with Rosie, not for her, not without her. I can feel the tears that haven't stopped streaming down my cheeks. I hear the sound of a door and see Pascale and Arthur rush into the waiting area "Where are they?" Pascale asks quickly to no one in particular "Charles is in with them now" She nods "Is she going to be okay?" She questions before taking in the faces of the people in the room "She's gone?" She asks in a whisper and I nod slightly. Arthur starts crying and pulls his mum into a hug, they are family, they both loved Rosie too. I stand up and pull them into a hug "They delivered the baby" I tell them and Pascale looks confused "But she is too small" I nod "We don't have more information at the moment" I lead them to the seats that have been empty on my left side since Charles was taken by the doctor. We all sit waiting for news, or Charles' return. After half an hour a nurse comes in the room "Charles has asked all of you to join him" she announces and we all jump to our feet. I walk behind the nurse down sterile corridors and think about how much Rosie would've hated this. She stops outside a room "I will warn you that there is a new born baby in here so please keep volume to a minimum" we all agree and I slowly open the door.

I see Rosie immediately and I can see that she is gone and I can't hold in the sobs that leave my lips. It wasn't real till this moment. My mum goes over and takes her hand "But she is warm" she mutters and I know that none of us want this to be true. Lando and Alex are still in the corridor giving the family some time but I know Rosie viewed both of them as family. I gesture for them to come in the room. I finally look for Charles and see him sat with his hand in an incubator "Charles?" I ask and he looks up at me with a watery smile "Come meet Annie" he tells me and I see the tiny baby laying there, she is about the size of my iPhone "Wow" I say and I know that she will be what we all cling to now "Isn't it too early" Charles nods "She is going to need a lot of help, she wont be leaving this hospital for a few months" I nod "We will all be here" I tell him and he gives my arm a squeeze "She would've loved her" I tell Charles and he looks over at Rosie "She does, she has from the moment she found out" I nod. Charles gets up and walks over to Rosie placing his hand on her cheek "She is everything we could've ever wanted, I love you beautiful girl" He tells and then the doctor comes in the room "its time" Charles nods and everyone looks confused "She spoke to me about this scenario and she didn't want to be kept on life support, if she was gone" My parents nod "She told us that too" why did no one tell me about this? "Time to say goodbye" My Dad tells the room. I'm not ready for this. The doctor switches off the machine and takes the tube out of her throat. The silence in the room is deafening "Goodbye my beautiful girl" Charles speaks and kisses her forehead. My mum is next and manages to get her words out through her sobs before walking over to me and taking a look at Annie. My dad clears his throat "this isn't goodbye, we will see you again" He tells her firmly and gives her cheek a kiss. Everyone else says their goodbyes and now I am the last one. I walk to her side with Charles "thank you Rosie, for everything, I'm the person I am today because I was lucky enough to have you as my sister. I will miss you so much! Annie is safe with us, you can rest now. I love you" I tell her and we all fall silent as the heart monitor slows.

Charles

That's it, she is officially gone. I feel lost, like I'm floating through space with no way of getting back to earth. She grounded me, she supported me, she loved me, what do I do without that now? We didn't have enough time, it isn't fair. I sit next to my daughter, hoping that she will make it through these tough few months to come. I need her, she doesn't even know me yet but I need her, she is part me and part Rosie, she is the only part of her left. She was right, having Annie was the correct thing to do, she always knew the right thing to do. I regret arguing with her, she just wanted to leave Annie behind even if she had to go. We knew that the end of us was coming and we couldn't stop it but she ended up giving me the greatest gift. Everyone but George has headed back to their hotels to get some rest and process what has happened today. I couldn't leave Annie alone, I won't leave her alone. George offered to stay so that we had some company and even though we aren't speaking I'm glad that he is here. "What do i do now?" I ask him softly "live the life she wants the both of you to have" George tells me and I know he is right "She will want you both to be happy, even if that is without her" I nod slightly "You can do this Charles, for Annie and for yourself" He is right but right now all I can manage is falling apart. I sit sobbing quietly. We have been moved to the NICU, there are other parents here with babies who need more help. This has been the worst day of my life, but also the beginning of my new life, I have to be okay for Annie and at this moment, its all that matters.