One and Only

31. Cissy.

  TW  self harm and mentions of kidnapping
I don't want to wake up. I just want to die right here in this very alley way where no one will be able to find me. It's dark, cold, and empty. Exactly how I feel right now.

No one deserves to be murdered with that curse, especially not Blaise. He's the kindest person I have ever met, he'd never hurt a soul on purpose.

I sat up not being able to feel anything besides the cold, hard stone I slept on. How am I supposed to face everyone, I bet Draco told everyone it was me by now.

There's nothing to loose so I might as well get up and face my problems rather than hide from them.

I snuck out of the alleyway and made my way to the Great hall as if nothing happened. I tried to act as normal as possible so no one would suspect me.

Draco is the only one who truly knows.

I sat down with my normal group but didn't speak to anyone. I don't know if Draco has told them yet.

"Attention everyone!" Dumbledore started.

Here we go...

"I have devastating news to inform you all of. One of our students was found dead this morning in the Astronomy tower. I dont know know exactly what happened although, I do know that he was murdered."

How on earth does he know that?

"He wasn't murdered but just anyone, but he was murdered by someone in this room." Everyone gasped.

Shit.

"Now let's make a toast to Mr.Blaise Zabini of Slytherin house."

Everyone raised their glasses while Dumbledore made a toast to my best friend who's now dead because of me. I could feel Draco's devilish eyes on me.

Pansy is crying, I am on the verge of crying too but I mustn't show weakness.

"If anyone knows who did it, or anything at all please come to myself or Professor McGonagall immediately. Thank you." Dumbledore concluded and everyone started feasting.

Although I did not. I don't have the heart to eat right now. I don't have an appetite either, I mean who would after they kill their best friend.

"I know what you did Kingston." Draco's voice burned into my head.

I know he knows but he doesn't know why.

"Are you going to turn yourself in or am I going to have to do it for you?" I hate when he speaks into my head.

Do I have to turn myself in? If I do I'll be expelled.

I quickly got up and walked out of the Great hall and back to my dorm. I climbed into my bed and screamed into my pillow before sobbing uncontrollably.

I lifted my face out of the pillow, tears running down my cheeks. "I'm so sorry Blaise, I promise I didn't want to, I p-promise." I tried to apologize to him as if he were right infront of me. But it only made me cry harder.

Still crying, I got up and ran into the bathroom, locking myself inside. I turned on the shower and put it to the hottest setting before stripping down to nothing.

I got in and immediately the water started burning my skin. I flinched but I told myself to stay in. I continued to sob not knowing what to do. My mind is racing.

He didn't deserve it so why did I do it? Draco is going to tell everyone. I'm so sorry Blaise I know you probably hate me too.

Everyone will hate me soon enough, why not end it now.