Without a Clue {Diall}

Chapter Fifty-One: The Unyielding Boy

Ollie's quiet. I don't really know what he's thinking about, but I decide to just sit there with him, waiting for him to say something. This is how he usually gets when he wants to talk. Sometimes it just takes him a while. He always tries to find the right way to say something before he does.

"Niall has nightmares, doesn't he?" Ollie asks then. I don't really know why Ollie would be curious about that. Ollie knows Niall has PTSD and night terrors. He's been over when Niall's had one. He already knows that.

"Yeah, he does. Night terrors too. Those are a little different." I say. Ollie furrows his eyebrows, seemingly struck by new information.

"How so?" Ollie asks.

"Well, I mean. Nightmares are just bad dreams. Night terrors are more like- I don't know. They feel real to him. He screams until he wakes up really disoriented and can't tell what's real and what isn't. Sometimes he'll think I'm someone else or he thinks he's in another place. Nightmares don't do that to him." I only tell Ollie this because it's obvious he's not asking about Niall per se, but wants to know my experience of Niall's terrors. Ollie sits there quietly for a while, processing the information. Ollie looks down at his hands, frowning.

"I think Elliot has those. Night terrors." Ollie says. This is the first I've heard of something like this. That's really serious.

"Really? When did he start having them?" I ask. Elliot's spent countless nights at here with Niall and I, but I've never been woken up by him having a terror.

"Dunno. He's always had, like, nightmares before. Ever since I can remember he's had them. But he's been really scared of them recently. He's avoiding going to sleep because he's frightened, even though he won't admit to it. I've been waking up when he has them recently, but I think it's just because I don't take pain meds before I sleep now. I don't know if they're night terrors." Ollie says. That's got to be rough. Elliot's been through a lot recently. Stress can bring about things like this, and Elliot definitely has been under an immense amount of stress.

"Have you talked to him about it?" I ask, and Ollie nods.

"I've tried, but he refuses to talk about it." Ollie says. Well, I know plenty about that.

"Did you ask what they're about?" I ask. Maybe Elliot just doesn't want to talk about what's in his nightmares, or terrors possibly, but I know better than most that you don't need to know what they're about to help. 

"Yeah, but he just shuts down when I ask." Ollie says. Ah. That's definitely it.

"Maybe next time you ask him about it, tell him you don't need to know about what his nightmares are about. If it's bad enough to scare him awake, he probably won't want to talk about it. Would you?" I say. Ollie frowns and shakes his head. I know it's difficult to not know what's hurting the person you love most in the world. It's even more difficult to have to watch them struggle with something so abstract, something that isn't a tangible problem you can help with.

"I think something bad happened to Elliot when he was a little. I know it doesn't make sense for him to only be having problems with it now, but I think he started having issues when he was planning a trip to visit where he grew up. He cancelled it though. He never went." Ollie says. That might not be a bad guess. Maybe thinking about where he grew up caused Elliot to remember some things he'd really rather not.

"You know, I've just realized I don't really know much about Elliot's home life before like, the past year. Niall told me his mom died, and that Easton's dad wasn't his, but I don't really know much else." I say. I guess it just didn't seem all that relevant. Elliot's such a great kid, and I guess I just assumed he'd grown up in a loving family with his mom and younger brother. He seems really well-adjusted compared to the vast majority of people I've met.