Without a Clue {Diall}

Chapter Thirty-Six: The Dejected Boy

           

Chapter Thirty-Six word count: 6293 words

After Niall leaves I can't go back to sleep. It's only five in the morning when he's picked up but once I've given Niall his last kiss for four days and three nights, I just feel a bit too unsettled to relax enough for sleep. I'm just so worried about him. I honestly have absolutely no idea how I'll be able to deal with Niall being on tour. I can barely contain my nerves when he's only an hour and half flight away and not across the world.

Around nine, once G's awake and Niall's called to tell me he's landed safely in France (before pulling the phone away from him and muttering something in French before resuming our conversation. I still don't know where he managed to pick an entire language up), I decide to call Anne just to see if today is an alright day to see Ollie. Niall and I were going to see him before, but he wasn't feeling very well and we were told there really wouldn't be much of a point in coming. Today is similar, she tells me, but they don't think Ollie will get any better before his transplant. So, if we want to see him before he undergoes a risky major surgery, we need to see him soon.

Once G's had his breakfast I get him dressed and we head to the hospital. G talks to Niall on FaceTime in the car rather than watching a movie to entertain himself and they talk about the most absurdly random things for about twenty minutes before Niall has to be at his first work commitment, and he has to let us go. Luckily, G doesn't seem too distraught that Niall's not here, but it's only been one morning and I don't think our tiny boy has actually realized how long his father will be gone even though we've told him. 

"G-bear?" I ask, trying to get Grayson's attention as we pull into the parking garage for the hospital. I look at him in the rear view mirror, happy to see him looking my way.

"Mommy?" Grayson replies, then giggles sweetly. He knows that he's not really supposed to respond like that, but he sees Harry do that a lot and he thinks it's the most hilarious thing on the planet. My heart melts every time he calls me Mommy, though, so I could never really do anything but love this little joke of his.

"Uncle Ollie is feeling really, really poorly right now, alright? He's got a big boo-boo and that's why he's here at the doctors to get better. So we can't play really rough with him today. You have to play easy with him like you do with Ezra. Okay, bub?" I want G to understand just how sick Ollie is without scaring him. I think comparing Ollie to Ezra, Louis and Eleanor's four month old son, helps G understand how gentle he's got to be; Grayson spends a lot of time with the Tomlinson boys and he knows how gentle he's expected to be around Ezra.

"Kay. He better soon, though?" Grayson asks, kicking his feet idly. I'm honestly a bit grateful that he's too young to understand what's really happening. If Ollie dies during his transplant, Grayson won't feel the whole force of it. He won't understand why Ollie's not showing up anymore. He'd miss Ollie, yeah, but he wouldn't understand that Ollie's never coming back. It's a trade-off, though. If Ollie dies now, Grayson might not remember him at all in a few years apart from stories we tell him. Hopefully, all this worrying is for nothing and in a month Ollie will be at home recovering from a successful transplant and back to living his life.

"Hopefully he'll be better really, really soon, bub." I reply, wanting more than anything for my predictions not to be too far off.

Ollie's been moved to a completely different hospital than the one he was in before, so I really don't have any idea where I'm going. I've got G in a hoodie that's a little too big for him so that the hood can be pulled up over his head just in case people begin to take pictures. So, when I've got G's tiny backpack on and I'm holding my purse, I lift G out of his car seat and into my arms. I manage to make it all the way to reception before anyone tries to take pictures, though.