(a/n: okay so this took me lowkey eight years to write and i'm so sorry it's just kind of a boring chapter so it was really hard for me to make myself write it. the next chapter should come a lot sooner!!! -s xx )
By the time Grayson's ready to be put down for a nap, he's completely and utterly spent. After Ollie left earlier this morning, Niall and I thought it would be fun to play cards with Grayson to entertain him. Of course, there weren't any games that Grayson could possibly play by himself, so he and I ended up on a team together once Niall decided on Go Fish. And of course, we won, but I'm pretty sure the only reason is because Niall let us win, which I didn't even know was possible with Go Fish until Niall did it.
After that, I watched as Niall chased Grayson around the backyard, a vibrant, neon green soccer ball being passed between them. Grayson's coordination is pretty limited at this age, so it's pretty funny to watch him focus so heavily on something like kicking a ball, which seems so simple to adults. By that time Grayson was completely covered in dirt and sweaty, and couldn't be happier about it. Niall then gave Grayson a bath in record time, and not twenty minutes later, the small boy was asleep.
Nonetheless, throughout the entire beginning of today Niall just seemed off. I'm not really sure why, but he was either upset about something or completely distracted. It's hard to see him not completely enjoying today; your birthday is supposed to be fun. I guess he's just not used to celebrating it?
"You okay?" I ask Niall softly, his brow furrowed in concentration as he throws some of Grayson's muddy clothes in the washing machine, me leaning against the wooden door frame of his laundry room, watching him. He doesn't respond, just continues to throw clothes in the machine. He pours some detergent in and reaches up to grab a blue bottle of fabric softener from the top shelf.
"Niall?" I question, my heart beating faster, worried that I've done something to upset him. This time, his response is delayed, but it's there. He mumbles a quick mhm before leaning forward to start the machine. He seems like he's not really paying attention to anything besides whatever thoughts have taken up residence in his mind.
"I asked if you were okay." I tell Niall gently; he nods leisurely and finally starts the washing machine.
"I'm fine." He says, his face completely neutral. I've noticed he does this sometimes; it's almost as if his personality retreats so far inside himself that nothing's left to show to the outside. He's quiet and intense, and I still haven't figured out why or how to fix it. He walks past me in the doorway without even glancing my way, and I can't help but feel a bit hurt by it, even though it might not have anything to do with me.
I've spent longer than I'd like to admit researching anything and everything that I can do to help him, but somehow it just feels so impossible. I don't think I'll ever be enough to get him back to who he was; that's something he has to do. The problem is, I don't think he wants to. I'm not sure if he just thinks it's impossible or he doesn't think he's good enough to do it.
"You're not a good liar, Niall." I mention softly, and he turns around instantly, the blankness in his face slowly morphing into anger.
"What's that supposed to mean?" He asks me, his eyes glaring and his jaw clenched. I feel so small under his harsh stare, and it makes me abruptly and unintentionally move backwards away from him, slightly behind the laundry room door frame.
YOU ARE READING
Without a Clue {Diall}
Fanfiction"It never leaves. It never goes away. Why won't it go away?" Niall's secretive, always has been, but no one could've ever guessed that he would hide something this big. It turns out trying to cope with your past is a lot harder when you're hiding fr...
