Chapter 34 word count: 6109 words
Thursday is the first day we're allowed to see Ollie since the incident at the Brits a week and half ago. Ollie wasn't allowed any visitors besides his immediate family in the ICU—doctor's orders—and then Elliot once Ollie simply refused to talk to anyone else until he was able to see his boyfriend. It seems like such an Ollie thing to do, give everyone the silent treatment until he gets what he wants. Nonetheless, we got the call yesterday saying we're finally allowed to see him since he's gotten over the little infection he had and has been moved to a regular room, no longer needing intensive care.
I suppose that's why when I wake up a bit disoriented at four in the morning, Niall screaming in his sleep beside me, it's one of the first thoughts I have. I know Niall's going to be in no shape to go to a hospital today. He's got so many triggers in hospitals. It's a difficult trip for him even when he's at his best. Niall wakes from his terror about ten minutes after it began and immediately begins to sob intensely. I'm grateful he didn't wake to a panic attack, though. Most of his terrors end like that, but sometimes, like now, Niall wakes from the terror as if it were a nightmare. He's just insanely upset about it, and frankly a bit terrified. It takes a while to calm him down because he's so distraught over what he saw, but I can help with that at least. The panic attacks are far more particular to deal with, so I'm grateful when Niall doesn't seem to be too disoriented when he wakes up.
Niall searches around the room only for a moment before finding me in bed next to him, as far away from him as possible because touching him during a terror would be a very, very bad idea. He reaches out towards me as he cries, so I scoot closer to him, pulling his hands towards me so he can rest his head against my shoulder. Niall's breath begins to slow immediately, so I'm completely certain that he's not panicking, just upset.
"It's alright, Ni. You're safe. G's safe. Just try to breathe nice and slow, yeah?" I speak softly, running my fingers through Niall's curls as he shakes. Niall nods gently, his breath shaking slightly as he tries to stop his gasping for air. I hush him slightly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, then his temple. I hate this so much. I hate that Niall has to feel this way. I want nothing more than whatever Niall's seeing in his mind over and over again to just fuck off. Niall's the best person in the world. He doesn't deserve to experience these horrors so frequently.
I model a few slow, steady breaths for Niall, knowing it's far easier for him to copy what I'm doing rather than slow down his breathing on his own. He seems to pay clear attention to me, and even though his breath still shakes, it slows dramatically after mimicking my own breathing.
"That's it, babe. Good job." I murmur into Niall's hair, holding him close. Niall's hiccuping now, trying to stop his tears, his bottom lip still shaking with his cries. I kiss Niall's temple a few times as he relaxes against me, trying to reassure him in any way I can.
"Sorry." Niall hiccups out against me. I shake my head instantly, smoothing a curl behind Niall's ear.
"It's okay, Ni. I promise. Just try to relax." I whisper gently, still stroking the side of Niall's face, smoothing his hair away from his eyes soothingly.
"M'sorry." Niall says again, but I hush him, wiping a few tears off his face. I know he's just apologizing because it's the middle of the night and his screams woke me up, but that's just silly. I don't mind staying up with him. I'd feel worse if I slept through Niall having a rough batch of symptoms.
"It's okay," I repeat, holding Niall close to me as his shaking decreases a bit, "I'm not mad at all, Ni. I just want you to feel better, yeah? I love you so, so much. Please don't think you've made me upset. That couldn't be farther from the truth." I press a kiss to Niall's temple, but then something odd happens. Niall begins to shake a bit harder than before, and his tears begin to appear more rapidly. He's getting increasingly upset, and I have no idea why.
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Without a Clue {Diall}
Fanfiction"It never leaves. It never goes away. Why won't it go away?" Niall's secretive, always has been, but no one could've ever guessed that he would hide something this big. It turns out trying to cope with your past is a lot harder when you're hiding fr...
