I watch as Niall gently swirls his pointer finger inside one of the short, wild curls sticking into the air from Grayson's sleeping form, the nightlight in the corner casting a shaped dance of warm light across Niall's baby blue shirt. His smile can easily be seen despite the gentle darkness of the nursery, and I can't help but grin sappily as Niall bends down to kiss Grayson's forehead, running his fingers ever so gently through Grayson's curls afterwards.
Niall looks up at me suddenly, and I blush; I didn't think he knew I was watching him put the sleepy child to bed. He keeps throwing me glances every once in a while as he shifts around Grayson's room, picking up a few misplaced items and locating Grayson's favorite blanket, instantly walking over and laying it over his child. He lifts Leo the Ankylosaurus from the changing table next to Grayson's crib and instantly places it near Grayson's little, sock-covered feet.
Grayson's chest rises and falls softly, and he doesn't even shift as Niall places the plastic blood-oxygen monitor on his finger. Niall pauses for a moment, just looking at Grayson with the loving stare only a parent could possess.
"Sometimes I like to think about before I had him; about how much I was missing, and I didn't have the slightest clue. It's absolutely mental." The small laugh Niall lets out makes me smile, and his soft tone continues as he speaks.
"Everyone always tries to tell you about how much you'll love them, you know? But you can't explain it in words. It's- I don't know," Niall shakes his head softly, his smile making the small dimple on his left cheek known, "It's like the word love can't even describe that feeling. Every time I see his little fingers, his freckles, him, it just reminds me of how lucky I am to have 'em. And just how close I came to losing him. I guess the universe decided I need him just as much as he needs me." I nod softly at Niall's whispered comment, the small smile on my lips only growing as Niall starts to walk towards me. He flips on the baby monitor as he nears the door, me slipping into the hall so he can shut it quietly.
I'm not really sure how Niall convinced me to stay the night again, or really if he had to convince me at all. After Grayson had been released from the hospital around three in the afternoon I had a few interviews across town and finished them up around nine. I planned to get my bags from Niall's apartment and finally check into my hotel, but when I arrived, I couldn't turn down Grayson's little request for me to stay for some hot chocolate. By the time he had fallen asleep on Niall's chest covered in the sugary drink, it'd been late, and both Niall and I agreed it would be easiest for me to stay another night.
"Are you sure you don't want your bedroom? I'm fine with the couch, honest." I mention lightly as we pass Niall's room, but he shakes his head. He gives me a slight smile through the warm, dark light and I can't help but return it.
"It's fine. Won't be sleeping tonight anyways." Niall says casually, as if I should already know that. I'm sure he catches the confusion on my face and he's quick to explain.
"G's lungs're stressed right now. If he's gonna have another attack, it'll be soon. Got to watch him for a few hours. Happens more often than not." Niall mentions softly, shifting his hands into the pockets of his black basketball shorts. I notice how he seems a little too comfortable with this. I don't know what I'd seem like if my child might stop breathing in the next few hours, but I can imagine it'd be nothing like this. Niall's calm face shows just how routine this must be for them. Every two weeks, give or take, Grayson has an asthma attack, and the night after, Niall watches diligently to make sure his child is out of the woods. I'd have gone crazy by now if it were me.
Niall waits for me to respond, but I haven't thought of anything to say. It's absolutely horrible that Niall and Grayson have to go through this on such a regular basis, but I would never actually say that. Niall looks at me, slightly tilting his head, and I realize he's thinking, not waiting for a response. I can't possibly imagine what's going through his head, and for some odd reason, I've never wished I could read minds as much as I wish for it in this moment.
YOU ARE READING
Without a Clue {Diall}
Fanfiction"It never leaves. It never goes away. Why won't it go away?" Niall's secretive, always has been, but no one could've ever guessed that he would hide something this big. It turns out trying to cope with your past is a lot harder when you're hiding fr...
