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CHAPTER 14

Khyrieze Llanelli Villaraigosa's POV

I love her,

That's all I know.

I've never been so attracted to someone the way I was to her, pero hindi pa nga nagsisimula ganito na ang nangyayare samin. Maybe that's meant to happened, hindi ko na kailangan pigilan yung sarili ko na mahalin siya dahil siya naman na itong lumayo. After she left me, I never talk to anyone, even to my siblings na kakarating lang kanina. It's friday today so meaning, kumpleto kami ngayong dinner, pero hindi pako bumababa. I don't feel hungry, all I know is I miss her. Kung alam ko lang na ganito yung mangyayari, I shouldn't let myself get attached to her.

*Deep sigh*

I still can't believe that this things will happen. I will admit that In that short period of time that we were together, I felt genuinely happy. She makes me happy, there's something with her that makes me feel so comfortable to the point that I am no longer holding my guard, and that's the reason why I am hurting. I let her passed through those walls that I build long time ago to protect myself from something like this.

I'm quietly standing at my window when someone spoke "The last time I saw you like that when you learned that Ate Britney is going to states for good" napalingon ako sa nagsalita. It was ate Lalein sitting on my bed. Tinignan ko lang siya at hindi ako kumibo. She's just talking nonsense. "Since then, when she left, you never let anyone be friend to you. Even the other kids in the farm, tinaboy mo sila dahil iniisip mo na baka gawin din nila yung ginawa ni Ate Britney sayo. Not everyone will going to leave you Khyrieze" Pagpapatuloy nito. Alam ko na kung saan pupunta ang usapan na ito.

I look back at my window before speaking. "I did that because I don't want to get bullied. Tama naman si Lolo e, tamang tama siya" mahinang sabi ko. Ayoko ko na sanang sumagot but I can't help.

"Sometimes he's right but not always. I know Lolo was strict, pero let's admit the fact that deep within you was broken, nasaktan ka nung umalis si Ate Britney that's why you always listened to Lolo. Kahit na nung lumipat tayo, parang wala paring nagbago sayo until you met Rian. But then when she left you, ayan ka nanaman. Nagtatago ka nanaman" She continued. I look at her again and she's just looking at me intently. I knew it. She already know.

"And? What's your point? Na parehas lang sila? Pagkatapos kunin yung tiwala ko iiwan na ako? Ganun ba?" walang emosyon na tugon ko dito. Hindi ko alam kung anong mali sakin, palagi nalang akong iniiwan, tila ba wala silang sapat na rason para piliin ako at manatili sa tabi ko.

"They're different person Khyrieze" Tumayo na ito at lumapit sakin. Umiwas ako nang tingin dito.

"They are just the same, iniwan nila ko" nasasaktan na sabi ko. I immediately wiped the tears that came out from my eyes.

"No, Britney left you because she can't handle the fact that you have feelings for her and you being intersex, scared the hell out of her. While Rian on the other hand, left you because she thought she will ruin everything. She did that because she wanted the best for you and if that means leaving you, then she's willing to let you go. Look, she knew whats going on but then she stayed and try to fight for the friendship that you had but she's still a person. Nasasaktan din siya sa mga nangyayare." pagpapaliwanag nito. Kunot noo ko naman siyang tinignan.

"Did you talked to her?" I asked, tumango ito.

"She explained everything to me nung nagkita kami sa manila. I told her na naniniwala naman ako sa inyo at pag pasensyahan niya nalang si Mommy if meron itong nasabi na hindi maganda because she's just in the state of shock. Since then palagi ka na niyang kinakamusta sakin kahit na mas malapit siya sayo. You're grounded daw at nag baka sakali siya na kumustahin ka sakin then I told her na wala din akong balita sayo so sa pamamagintan ni Manang Linda ako nangamusta then I told her afterwards. Until the Saturday incident happened, I asked her why and she told me that she's hurting." she paused before looking at the same direction that I am looking. To the pool side where in Mom, Dad and our two other sisters are enjoying. "She doesn't deserve that kind of treatment, I can't believe that Mom and Dad can do that to her." she said before taking a deep breath.

"How is she?" Tanong ko sa kanya bago siya balingan ng tingin. Ngumiti ito sakin ng tipid.

"She's doing fine, kinakamusta ka niya din and I told her that you're being you again. That thing makes her sad so please, stop locking yourself in this room." she said then met my gaze. "Don't think that I did tell you this because she asked me too, I voluntarily came her to let you know her side. Isa pa, ayokong magalit ka sa babaeng mahal mo" Seryosong sabi nito. Gusto kong itanggi ang paratang niya but I just remained silent. Siguro kung wala kami sa sitwasyon nato ay kanina pa kami nag aasaran. She step forward before giving me a hug. A kind of hug that I needed the most.

"Ate" I said between my sobs. It's too hard, I just can't accept the fact that It happened too fast. We just met, then now, we're strangers again with some short happy memories.

"Shh... I understand, but please, do what Rian asked you to do. Open your heart to everyone, maybe some of them will leave but I assure you that someone will stay. Just give them a chance this time." She said while patting my back. I just nod as an answer. Maybe this time, I should forgive those people who chose to leave me even though they didn't asked for forgiveness. I should forgive Britney for leaving me because I can't blame her on the things that happened years ago. We're so young that time and I guess, what I felt for her is just a part of me growing. I should accept the fact that she can only see me as a sister. Her best friend's youngest sister.

"I will, but I needed time. For myself and for my own healing." I said before we pulled out from the hug.

Sabi nila, love is the most happiest things that you'll feel but the most saddest things that you'll encounter. They're right, because right now I felt so sad. Not because we can't be, but because she's no longer part of my life. I am contented on what's my role in her life, I'm not demanding for something nor wanting something. All I want is her to be there by my side, but it will never happen. She made up her mind and all I can do is to do my part. To let her go even though she's never mine.

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Morning fellas! Nakainom nanaman ako hahahahaha skl! Pero nag update ako dahil love ko yung 1,2,3... 30 readers ko hahahaha! Salamat sa mga nag vo-vote and sa mga silent readers dyan salamat parin! Patuloy niyo sana suportahan itong kwento ni Kerby kahit na sobrang layo pa nang lalakbayin niya, huwag sana kayo mainip kahit nakaka 15 parts palang tayo! Anyway, inaantok nako. Paalam na, salamat ulit!  -yellowranger00