Chapter 20

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Chapter 20

There wasn't a day that I was not thinking about it. Every time my eyes will lay on my husband, many questions crossed my mind that I couldn't even answer, even one. There wasn't a night that I wasn't sleeping with a heavy chest. My thoughts were drowning me... I feel suffocated and restless with the things going on in my mind. I want to get away from it, but the reason why I'm like this is here, and he's right now talking with someone on the phone.


It's now vivid to me... His actions were triggering my trust. I was still in the stage of denial; however, Paris kept doing things that would make me overthink and feel suspicious. Until now, I'm still asking myself if what I'm feeling is valid since I don't want to be misunderstood that it was the lack of trust.


"Hon, puwede bang itigil mo muna 'yan? Kanina pa kita tinatawag para kumain." Ilang beses ko na siyang pinagsabihan at sa huli ay nagpaalam na siya sa taong kausap niya sa phone. Hindi naman siya gano'n... Pakiramdam ko tuloy dahil sa kagustuhan kong magbago siya ay parang napapalayo na siya sa akin. 


Paris stood up and walked towards me. He put his arm on my shoulder and was stunned when suddenly, he kissed my forehead. I was dumbfounded when my attention darted to him, and as time went on, here goes my mind once again, playing games with me.


"What's the problem, Hon? Ang tahimik mo," kuro niya kaya napalunok ako. Makailang beses na kumurap nang mabilis ang mga mata ko na para bang hindi ko inaasahan na mapapansin niya ang pagiging tahimik ko nitong mga nakaraang araw.


I averted my gaze away from him and shook my head. "Nothing... Maybe I'm just so tired na kahit pagsasalita ay kinatatamaran ko na." 


Lies, Rigan. 


Mahinang natawa si Paris dahil sa sinabi ko pagkatapos ay ginulo ang buhok ko. Inalis ko ang braso niya sa balikat ko at naunang dumiretso sa hapag-kainan. "Sino 'yung kausap mo? Is it your colleague again?" 


"Nope, it was Orcus I'm talking with," he replied, and I just nodded. He sat beside me and started getting food for his plate. 


"Nga pala, malalate ako ng uwi. May kailangan akong tapusin sa lab kaya huwag mo na akong hintayin," paalam niya kaya saglitan akong natigilan. Sunod-sunod na ang pag-uwi niya nang late pero tikom pa rin ang bibig ko sa unti-unti niyang pagbabago... Hanggang ngayon ay nagbubulag-bulagan pa rin ako kahit nagkaroon na ng konklusyon ang isipan ko.


"G-Gano'n ba... Sige," pagpayag ko dahil hindi ko naman siya puwedeng pagbawalan. 


Tama na, Rigan... Please lang. 


"It's our anniversary next week. Are we planning to go somewhere?" He asked. 


"No, it's better to celebrate here in the house. I don't want the media bothering our anniversary," I answered in a dull tone. Every year, I'm always excited whenever our anniversary is coming, but this time, it's different. There wasn't a spark at all... I want to be happy; however, the happiness that I was looking forward to can't be found with the things going on right now.

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