We meet again

Past With The Russians - Chapter 38

( Lorelai POV )

There was a knock at my bedroom door and I yelled for whoever it was to come in while I tickled Nalaya.

" Lorelai " I heard my dad say.

" what's my middle name? " I asked him but was smiling at Nalaya.

" Faye " he said and I nodded.

Lorelai faye bottura.. that's alright I guess.

" Are you okay? "

" why do people always fucking ask me that- clearly i'm fine " I said getting annoyed.

It's not like Nalaya understands me but then again she's getting to that stage where she repeats stuff.

" clearly you're not- do you want to talk about it? "

" nope " I said popping the p.

" is this about me telling you that I have- "

" I don't want to hear anything about that "

" Why did you flinch? "

" Because I did "

" but why? "

" I was lost in my thoughts and all of a sudden I felt someone touch me so of course I flinched "

" I want to talk to you about the Russians "

Is it too late to jump off the roof.

" what about them? "

" why did they hurt you more? "

" Because that's what the Russians do "

I'm ready to end this conversation.

I honestly don't want to bring up old memories that took too long to get rid of- though it's not really something you can forget.

" Can you tell me the truth? "

" FINE- you want to know the fucking truth I'll tell you " I said angrily and sat down on the bed facing the wall.

It's now or never.

" Being with the Russians almost my whole life I went through so much shit.

⚠️?

I got tortured mentally, physically, sexually- all of the above.

The worst version of torture was the survival.

They'd make me jump off buildings- they'd drown me- they'd burn me- they'd stab me- shoot at me- and so much more.

He'd sell me to so many men including his and they would be allowed to do whatever.

And they just fucking watched.

I was fucking terrified- humiliated- hurt..

I wouldn't constantly wonder why they favorited me out of everybody there and that same line was

" you're the most prized possession "

I didn't know what that meant until I did.

They would starve me and abuse me mentally-

Tell me how worthless I was, how I was such a burden my own family didn't want me..