WISH FOR LOVE (Jinkook ff)✅

38. Live Or Leave

Few hours later

Fuck... Why can't i sleep? Is it because of the light... Maybe...

 I was laying with my backfacing Jin.. Yes... If i have to control myself i should lay like  this. Last time i look  at his side, his legs again give me a hard time. I sighed and closed my eyes hoping to get some sleep. But i couldn't. This is not the first time I am sleeping beside him, but today .... Something is different.... I am nervous as well as happy to be beside him.

I lay on my back and looked at the ceiling. 

I heard some shuffling movement beside me which caused me to look at that side..

Awww....

Jin is sleeping like a baby with pouty lips, clutching the pillow which he placed between us... He is so cute...

If I wasn't behaved like an asshole before, maybe we can lead a good life right?. Or it will be more better if  he was the groom for the marriage from the first itself. If i wasn't blinded with my hate towards Jimin , I wouldn't miss a precious gem like him which was in my hold all the time.

But now....   

I fear i can't hold that gem as its going to slips out of my hand soon....

No .... No...........

Be positive as grandpa says....

I smiled at Jin and turned towards his side completely as  I slowly raised my hand and removed his bangs which covering his eyes...

He whinned in the sleep and move more close to me as he literally pushed that pillow to the edge of the bed. He is laying more close to me now. 

I caressed his cheeks for which he responded to the touch by making some sounds. Is he dreaming? Because he is smiling in the sleep.

I just lay there looking at him.....caressing his bread cheeks.

I was about to take my hand back, but he hold it and pressed it on his cheeks again. My fingers slightly touching that glossy lips. I licked my own lips unconciously. Should i kiss him? He is in deep sleep. He won't know if i do that right....

I was about to lean towards him...........

"Don't you dare move close to me.... If you lay a single finger on me,.... i promise... I will cut your dick and throw it our dogs... I mean it."

I quickly lean back to the bed.

No........ Not today............. I don't want to rush things and complicate more............ That lips are going to be mine someday......... I will wait till then patiently.....

I slowly tried to remove my hand . Because it being there giving me weird thoughts.  I succeded in moving my hand ,but something else happened.

He kicked the pillow to the floor and move closer to me. Not only that he put one of his arm over my naked chest and hugged me tightly. 

Great.

You aren't aware about the consequence of doing this right ? Well i clearly know..........

As i can feel it now....... in the down..........

Control yourself Kook...control.... control.... He is sleeping....

Even though i like our position now, its not safe for him as i really have a great self control. So i tried to remove his hold from me..

But i have to stop when he whinned in sleepy tone.

"Hyungie............ Cu-dd-les.........ple-easee........"

Hyung?

Jimin?

Guilt arises on my mind. I know how much Jin loves Jimin. Same goes for Jimin too... All the time we are together Jin will always be a topic...

Jimin's departure would have bring a greater effect on him. In addition to it he has to marry someone without having someone. That someone was selfish and rude only thinking about himself rather than how other would feel.

I looked at him sleeping so clamly holding my body. I put one of my hand engulfing him to a hug. He leaned more close and put his head on my chest. I can feel his soft breath on my chest. I slowly caressed his hair.

I am sorry..... For giving you all the pain..... But i promise..... I won't make you cry because of me again..... Because...... i love you... More than anything in the world... Let's start from the first.... I will show you my real self..... I will show you how much i love you...... I care for you..... I know that is not an easy task for me... But i will try my best... To be with you...

Even after all my tries,.... If you didn't feel anything for me..... Then.....

I will let you leave me.......

Even though it will break my heart..... I will let you go....

To chase your dreams..... For a new life.....

Small chapter.

And sorry for the late update.

Also i am not okay with this chapter. But hope you like it.

Thoughts

💜💜💜💜