Past Her Insanity - Taylorde (complete)

• Ch.Twenty Two - Done •

"Can this thing go any faster?", I ask the taxi driver.

"Ella!", Maria scolds, "Manners!"

"We're going to be late! We'll be there after the fans and that can't happen! It'll ruin the entire plan!"

"Okay okay, hush up", Maria sighs, resting me back into my seat. "Calm yourself, honestly"

"Say that to my scalp", I say, lifting up my beanie and revealing a patchy tuft of fair hair.

"Oh it's not that bad anymore, Ells", Maria fusses, adjusting the material, "and cutting that head of yours was worth it. Your hair is recovering nicely, I think"

"I look like a poodle now", I complain.

"You looked like a poodle before it was cut, babe"

"Mars!"

"Cutting your hair took away from the weight. It's meant to help with growth or whatever. Now relax"

We reach the docks and board our ferry. It won't be long now before I get to see Taylor. Beautiful beautiful Taylor. I hope she's okay. I hope she hasn't hurt herself anymore. I hope she'll be happy to see me. I can almost feel her soft skin on mine and the way she holds me; tight and safe. I almost don't want to see her yet just so I can savour the excitement.

I have been planning this event for a long time and I'm still concerned about how it's going to turn out. If she reacts badly to this, well, I'll surely not be allowed to see her again. But if she reacts positively... we might just be able to save her. Save her from herself, I mean. This could be the day that Taylor Swift realises an awful lot of people still care.

"You look quite happy", Maria says as she joins me by the boat side.

"I am happy. And a little terrified", I admit. "Lots of work ahead today"

"We can do it. And if she doesn't like what we do, well. That's just it, I guess. And you're going to move on. Okay?"

"Okay, Maria"

"No, Ella, you need to promise me you'll move on", Maria says, sternly. Her serious tone causes me to turn towards her.

"I will", I say, quietly, not meeting her gaze.

"Ella"

"Maria, I will!"

"I don't believe you", she sighs.

"She's Taylor, Mars. It's hard to move on from a girl like her"

"Ya big softy", Maria teases and pokes at my side. "I hope she's happy to see you"

Taylor's house hasn't changed a bit. Even in the autumn it looks as bright and clean as it did in the summer. Not even a single stray brown leaf has made its way to her doorstep. But there is an odd quietness to it. A haunting feeling of abandonment. I thought Ed was a good choice for a suicide watch member. I thought there would be a somewhat happier aura to the place. Maybe it's just me. I'm nervous and I'm thinking too much about this.

Maria skips up to the door and rings the bell. We shuffle around on the porch waiting for an answer. I get a text from a 'co plan leader'.

Everyone's here! Tell us when it's time!

I breathe a sigh of relief. With quick fingers I tap back a response.

Perfect. At the house now. Will text you when ready. Hang on..

"Is there anyone home?", wonders Maria, peering in the little window.

"There should be. Unless they're out walking or something"

"Lunch, maybe?"

"Not at this hour, surely"

Maria rings again. Suddenly the door creaks open.

"Odd", I say and step inside.

We call around to see if anyone is here. Our voices echo around the house. There doesn't appear to be a single soul.

"Fuck", I sigh.

"Maybe they're upstairs. Perhaps Taylor could be sleeping"

"And Ed?"

"Not too sure on that one"

"It's worth a shot", I say and ascend the elegant staircase, Maria following. Taylor's bedroom door is open too.

"Something is definitely wrong here", I say to myself.

"Clue", Maria says, picking up a note on Taylor's pillow. "...Bad clue"

"What is it?", I ask, taking up the note.

I'm done. I'm sorry. I need Ellie. I'm sorry. -T

"It's... It's a suicide note, oh God", I gasp, fighting back tears. A sickening wave of nausea makes my head spin. I don't want to believe this. I can't lose Taylor after everything that's happened. That's a guilt I'll never be able to overcome.

"Maria, it's a suicide note! Where's Ed!? Where is he!? Where's Taylor!? Oh my God!", I sob, scrunching up the paper.

"Okay, breathe", Maria soothes.

"I can't relax right now!", I spit. "Where is-"

"Ella? What's going on?", asks a voice from the door. It's Ed.

I rush up to him and throw my arms around his shoulders, sobbing into his chest.

"It's Taylor!", I whimper, "Taylor's dead!"

He takes my crumpled up note and reads it. "No", I breathes, shaking his head.

"We might still have time! Who knows!", Maria yells. "Let's think about this. Where could she have gone to.. you know"

"Oh God, I've no idea. The woods? Oh Jesus, she hung herself!", I gasp and start sobbing again.

"Ed, can you take us to the woods? Quickly? Are there taxi's around here?", Maria asks, calmly.

"There are some tourist cabs"

"Let's go!"

Maria grabs my arm and we rush downstairs, nearly tripping over each other. Ed nearly gets his feet crushed as he stops a passing cab. He gives the location and we cram ourselves inside. I'm having such a huge panic attack. My chest hurts immensely. Maria's trying to soothe me and so is Ed but, needless to say, it's not working.

"Is she okay?", asks the driver.

"Please, just drive", Ed says.

We thank him and give him more money than needed but we've no time to lose. The woods are small. If Taylor is here then it shouldn't take longer than fifteen minutes to find her.
I'm screaming her name and so is Ed but to avail. And he's beginning to grown teary eyed too, kicking over leaves and rocks in his frustration.

"Five minutes!", he yells to himself, "I left her for five fucking minutes and that was enough! I'm such an idiot!"

"Oh Ed", Maria breathes.

I place my fingers around my temples. Where could she have gone this quickly? The only places we hung around when I was with her were the beach, the woods and the hill-

"The hill!", I gasp, "There's a big tree on the hill!"

"What hill?", Ed groans, hands behind his head.

"Quickly, follow me!", I say and start sprinting towards the end of the wood. It's much easier to dodge the tree branches now that my hair is shorter. But something inside me is telling me that that won't give me enough time to find Taylor. And I need to muster up all my courage to deny it.

"Taylor!", I call, desperately longing for an answer, "Tay-"

I spot her. There she is on the hill right beside the apple tree. And a rope has been tied to the strongest bough.