panic; kv ✓

10; its not fair

The question was still bothering Jeongguk— a lot of questions were. What would it be like to be with Taehyung? What would it be like to have a boyfriend? What would it be like to love someone? All the questions had him stressfully waiting beside the university gates as he waited for his best friend to arrive.

Do I really like him? Jeongguk pondered as he kicked a rock around. Most evidence lead to yes: always taking the opportunity to hang out; wanting to always stay with him, waiting before and after school for him, and feeling his heart flutter whenever he walked past his dorm building.

It was difficult to admit something he had always preached against, even more difficult when it was his best friend that he cherished too dearly to ruin their friendship.

"What's wrong with you? You look you're a kid who got sent out of class," Jeongguk looked up from the ground to meet the face of who was talking. It was Jay with a cheese straw in his mouth and thick eyebrows raised.

Jeongguk shrugged, "I think I like Taehyung but I don't want to be gay or ruin our friendship, or even admit it," a feeling of uneasiness began to take over.

"You don't have to be gay to like a boy, you could be bisexual, or even unlabelled. Anyone who assumes your sexuality is dumb as fuck and needs to focus on themselves," Jay carefully spoke trying his best to use the minimal knowledge he had, "If you still like Taehyung even after a week then I think you should try admitting it and get over it rather than making it burden you can't talk to anyone about,"

"But wouldn't it be wrong? For me to like the same gender when I literally said how that's disgusting," Jeongguk felt insecure and uncomfortable with how he was feeling.

"Everyone changes, and like I said you might not even be gay," Jay shrugged not knowing what to tell the boy for reassurance, "Why don't you try not deeping it and like him like a regular crush you would have and see how it goes?" The elder suggested as he crumpled up the bag he had his food in.

Jeongguk nodded with a hesitant look, "Okay thanks," the boy gave him a nod before walking off soon after, Taehyung followed with a gloomy face, and even then Jeongguk felt his heart weep and stomach fight itself.

"What were you two talking about? You looked constipated," Taehyung yawned and used all his energy to move his feet.

Jeongguk let out a cackle, "Constipated? We were talking about my crush," He grinned and silently cooed when Taehyung's face lit up.

"Oh! Who is it?!" The younger eagerly asked and snapped his head up to his friend.

"I'm not telling you," Jeongguk smirked and glanced at the boy, the pretty boy had his lip slightly stuck out into a pout and his delicate features frowned. Jeongguk shook away his thoughts and tried to focus on something else.

"How come you tell them everything but not me," Taehyung quietly mumbled beside Jeongguk, the empty feeling in his big heart began to grow worse. Only if Jeongguk knew what he truly meant and could help fill the emptiness with reassurance.

Jeongguk luckily wasn't as dumb as people think, he quickly sensed the weird tone he had never heard come from his best friend.

"I'll give you a hint," Jeongguk attempted to cheer up the mood, "It begins with a T," it was way too obvious for Jeongguk's liking. Fortunately for him, Taehyung didn't seem to be paying attention.

"Okay, anyways I'm hungry so—"

"Let's go eat," Jeongguk chimed with a bright bunny smile, the younger looked at him confusion and sadness.

"I-I thought you were gonna sit with your friends so I've planned to go out with Jimin," Taehyung felt a heavy feeling grow in his chest at the sight of Jeongguk's smile fading, "Let's go eat after school though!" He beamed.