Color blind // Thiam

Chapter 21

As soon as I tell Mason what happened, he stares at me, shaking his head. He repeats the same sentence over and over again. 'No, he's not dead. He can't be dead.' My heart breaks every time he says it, because I can see how badly he wants it to be true, even though we both know it isn't.

"You promised me!" Mason yells out. "I should've been there! I should've been there to help him."

I hold back my tears, trying my best to be as strong as possible. Hayden sat on the other couch opposite us, crying. She took the news just as bad as I had expected her to. She lost her best friend, the person she's known since she was 4, the person who she would tell everything to, the person who meant everything to her.

"What happened?" Mason asks me, refusing to make eye contact with me.

"We searched every hospital room but couldn't find him. We believe that he went down there to try and hide from them, but they still found him. They pierced him with their cane," I tell Mason, finally letting out a tear.

Mason look up at the ceiling, a fresh set of tears falling from his eyes. I place my hand on his knee, unsure what I can possibly do in this situation to help him feel any better. I don't even think there is anything you can do in a situation like this.

I look in the corner of the room where Theo is, standing away in the shadows. I hear him sniff slightly, wiping away his tears. I finally break down along with everyone else. I'm not strong enough, not for things like this. Although Corey and I weren't as close as the other two, he was still my friend. He still meant something to me.

I place my head in my hands, listening to everyone as they cry and mourn for Corey.

"Mason," I speak through my sobs. "I am so sorry."

Mason finally looks up at me, looking me directly in the eyes. He didn't seem mad at me. I was relieved by that. Theo made a promise that we would do everything in our power to bring Corey home, and we did... but we could've done more.

We could've gone down to the basement sooner. If I didn't slow down to talk to Theo, we could've made it to Corey in time. Corey and Mason could still be together, they could've been happy.

There's no denying that Mason and Corey are soulmates... but now they're not. Mason has lost his soulmate and I can't even imagine how he must be feeling. Mason and Corey were so deeply in love, it almost made me sick watching it. They were happy and they had their whole lives sorted out.

I look over at Theo, my heart sinking as I try and imagine myself in Mason's situation. Theo and I aren't even in love, we don't even really know each other, but I would be absolutely lost if he ever where to... well.

"I think I just want to be left alone," Mason tells me, finally breaking our eye contact. "I think I need to be alone right now."

"If that's what you want," I tell him, standing up. "Call me if you need me. I love you."

"Do you want a lift home, Hayden?" Theo asks her.

"I'll call my sister to come get me. Thank you though," she looks up at him, holding back more tears.

I give her a quick hug before leaving with Theo. I get into his car, letting the finally tears fall from my eyes. I try and hold it all together. I don't want Theo to see me this way, I don't want anyone seeing me this way. I don't know if these tears are for Mason or if it's because I too lost a friend or if it's because I keep imagining losing Theo. It might be all three at this point.

Theo doesn't start driving until I've finished crying. I expect him to say something, but he doesn't. The car ride back to my place, we sat there in complete silence. It seemed to be the only thing we did these days. Sit in silence. I was done putting in all my efforts to try and make a conversation with Theo.