Color blind // Thiam

Chapter 34

I sit down at the kitchen table, unsure where to even start. I take a deep breath in, bouncing my leg as the anxiety sets in. Scott notices this, placing a concerned hand on my shoulder, reassuring me to take my time.

I can't let Theo do this to Scott, but I can't let Scott do anything to Theo. They both mean a lot to me and I can't afford to lose either of them. The worst part of all this is, if either of them causes harm to one another, it'll be my fault.

I clear my throat, resting my head in my hands, trying to think about the best way to approach this situation. Scott takes a seat across from me, staring at me as the thoughts rush through my mind. I can either tell Scott the whole truth and risk losing Theo, or I can keep things from him and risk losing Scott.

I look up at Scott, worry in his eyes as he leans in closer to me. I owe a lot to Scott. Without him, I would be dead. He saved me that day at the hospital, and he's continued to save me and look out for me since that day. He's my friend, my alpha. I have to protect him.

"What's all this about, Liam?" He asks me, his voice soft. "Are you alright?"

I shake my head, unsure what to even respond with. I want to protect them both, but I know that's not an option. I also know who I can trust and who I can't.

"I honestly thought this would be easier than it is. I thought I would come here, see your face and confess everything and be done with it. I really don't know what to do, Scott." I tell him, laughing slightly as my eyes begin to fill with tears.

"Do what you believe is right," he tells me, giving me a small smile. "I will support you no matter what you choose. I think I know what this is about, and I understand why you're confused. He means something to you, so that means something to me."

I take in his words, noting how much he's clearly thought about this whole situation for me. He's taken my opinion and relationship with Theo into consideration. I need to start putting Scott's life and safety first. I can't let anything happen to him, because I wanted to protect someone. I need to do what's right. 

"He admitted to it. I asked him about it, and he admitted to trying to kill you. Even after he agreed to work with us," I begin to cry, wiping the tears as they fall down my cheeks. "He says he's changed his mind about it and doesn't want you dead, but I can't trust him anymore. I've heard those words leave his mouth before and he hasn't changed. I don't know if he'll ever stop trying to kill you, Scott. He seems to care more about power than anything else and I don't know what to do about it."

Scott looks at me, his face full of sympathy. He clears his throat, nodding slightly as he takes in everything, I just told him. He begins to slowly shake his head, taking a deep breath in. I look up at him, trying to figure out what he's thinking.

"You probably haven't had time to think this over... but what are your thoughts on sending him to hell? I totally understand if you still haven't changed your mind about it," he asks me. "Your opinion will be taken into consideration, but it seems to be the only solution we have."

My heart drops when he asks me the question again. I knew it was coming and he would ask me this again, but it still didn't prepare me. Even though Theo has hurt me multiple times, I still care about him and can't bear the thought of losing him. I don't want him getting hurt, but I know he needs to be stopped. I can't have him killing anyone I care about.

Not again, anyways.

"I don't want to lose him, but he can't be trusted anymore. Do what you believe is right. I trust you to make the right decision," I tell him, giving him a weak smile.

Scott gives me a sympathetic look, nodding slightly as I turn away from him. I bite my bottom lip, stopping the sobs that threatened to escape from my mouth. I close my eyes, trying to push the thought of Theo out of my mind. I take a deep breath in, turning to face Scott again.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I tell him, forcing a smile.

"See you then," he tells me.

I pull out my phone, making my way to the front door. I check to see if Theo tried to contact me in anyway, a wave of disappointment washing over me when I don't see his name on my phone. I begin the walk home, my mind racing with thoughts.

Can I afford to lose Theo? I know we haven't known each other for long, but I did truly love him. And a part of me believes that he too loved me, even if he did betray me like he did. I think a part of me will always love Theo, regardless of what happens.

But if he did love me, how could he do something like this to me? He knows what Scott means to me, so how can he speak those words, knowing that he was planning on killing one of my closest friends. How could he ever commit to me, knowing he wanted my friend dead?

How do I even know what was real and what was fake with him? How much of our relationship was a lie? Was it all a lie? Am I even really his soulmate?

I curl my hands into fist, the anger rising within me. I think about everything Theo and I haven gone through and how he can just throw it away like it's nothing. I stop walking, taking deep breaths in as the rage begins to take over. I clench my jaw, closing my eyes as I try to calm myself down. I let out a scream of pure rage, turning to a tree and punching it.

I look down at my shaky hand, watching as my knuckles turn a bright red. I nurse my hand to my chest, falling to the ground. I rest my head against the tree, looking up at the moon, calming myself down before I made another stupid decision.

I sit there, coming to terms with what was going to happen. I know what Scott and the others are going to decide and I have to accept their decisions. I have to understand where they're coming from and I have to understand why they want to do this.

In the end, I'm going to lose my soulmate. I'm going to lose Theo.