Color blind // Thiam

Chapter 30

After how the pack meeting went, Theo and I both agreed to remain a secret. We want to avoid any further drama, especially this early into our... situation. Theo and I still haven't discussed what we are or what's going on between the two of us. It was more Theo's decision than mine, but I do agree with him. I don't want anything to ruin what we have.

What we have going on at the moment, it's good. We don't want anything getting in the way of it, especially with how new it is to the both of us. The pack also has strong opinions and I take all their opinions into consideration. I don't want their opinions clouding my judgement and potentially ruining what I have with Theo. especially considering how hard I've fallen for him.

It is hard keeping such a secret from everyone I love, though and it has slowly started to affect me. So, I decided to make a call and talk to someone about what's going on. This is the only person who has defended Theo and given him a fair chance. He's also the only one who understands what this is like, to have to hide your feelings from everyone else. It helps that he's going through something similar.

I sit down at the table in the back corner, keeping an eye out for Isaac. I sit there anxiously waiting, wondering if I'm doing the right thing. On one hand, it's the right thing for me, but on the other hand, I'm going behind Theo's back and breaking our promise of keeping this a secret. I need to talk to someone about this though. Someone who I know won't biased and will give me an honest opinion.

Isaac enters the café, a smile on his face as he sees me in the corner. He comes over to the table, taking a seat across from me.

"How have you been?" He asks me, picking up the menu.

"That's why I invited you here," I tell him. He quickly places the menu down, a concerned look on his face. "It's nothing bad, I just really need advice from someone I can trust."

"You trust me?" He asks me, a smile on his face as I nod.

"How come you never told him?" I ask him, unsure where to start with Theo and me.

Ever since Isaac told me who his soulmate was, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I can't imagine what that would be like. Having to see your soulmate every day and having to act like they're nothing more than just a friend. Isaac and Scott live together, which just seems to make the situation even more complicated.

"He's happy with Kira and I don't want to ruin our friendship. I know he would never leave me for it, but I can't deal with an awkward situation like that. Especially since we see each other every day." He tells me, playing with the sides of the menu. "But as long as he's happy, that's all I care about."

I give Isaac a sympathetic look, my heart aching for him. Having to see your soulmate every day, in a happy relationship... I could never do that. I honestly don't know how he does it. I give him credit for it.

"I need to talk to you about Theo," I finally tell him. "He stayed at mine the other night and we're sort of seeing each other, I guess you could say. Nothing has really happened between us though, because I told him I wasn't ready to forgive him, even though I think I am ready to forgive him. I just don't want him think he can hurt me, and I'll forgive him just like that."

"Does anyone else know?" He asks me.

"No," I tell him, shaking my head. "We agreed to keep it a secret, because we don't want to deal with the drama. I mean, you saw how the pack reacted when I told them Theo wanted to help us. Imagine how they're going to react when I tell them we're soulmates."

"I think you should do whatever makes you happy. If Theo makes you happy, then you should go for it. At the end of the day, he's your soulmate. No one will be mad at you for going with your heart. Well, they may be mad at the beginning, but they will all forgive you with time." He tells me.

I look up at him, taking in his advice. He is right. I do need to put myself and my happiness first. I know that if the pack don't accept Theo and I straight away, they will with time. I know Scott will find it in his heart to forgive him, then he will accept us. With Scott's forgiveness and acceptance, everyone else will follow.

"I need to go," I tell Isaac, getting up from the table. "Thank you. This really helped."

"You're not going to get a coffee?" Isaac asks me, looking down at the menu.

I laugh slightly, running out of the café. I get to my car, starting the engine and I begin to make my way to Theo's place. I smile uncontrollably as I drive to his place, not knowing exactly what to say or do when I get there.

I want him to know that I've forgiven him and I'm ready to move on with him, but I want him to also know that what he did was fucked up, and that I don't just forgive people this easily. I want him to continue to suffer, but I also want to be happy. I want to be happy with him.

I get to his house, taking a deep breath in before getting out of the car. I get to his front door, knocking on it and patiently waiting for him to answer. I hear footsteps approach the door, butterflies filling my stomach.

He answers the door, a confused expression on his face.

"Hey," he says, a smile on his face.

"Hi," I reply back, returning the smile.

"Come in," he moves out of my way, allowing me to enter his home.

I take a look around the place, noticing it didn't have a very homey vibe to it. I look around for family photos, noticing there isn't a single photo anywhere. I turn to face Theo, trying to hide my sympathetic look.

I've never asked Theo about his parents or asked him about his home life. After seeing it... I think I know why he doesn't talk about it. There doesn't seem to be a lot of love here. Maybe that's the reason he is the way he is.

"I'm going to be straight up with you, so I don't back down. I don't know why I still care about you. I don't know why I still care about us, but I do." I tell him, staring at the ground to avoid looking at him. "I want this to work out and I'm ready to start trusting you. But that doesn't mean you get to hurt me, to hurt my friends, and I'll just forgive you like that. You still need to earn my forgiveness, but I'm ready to take the first step."

"So, does that mean you do forgive me?" He asks me, uncertainty in his voice.

I finally look back up at him, staring into his eyes. I pause, unsure what to say next. I don't want to hurt him, but I don't want to lie to him. I don't want our relationship to be built on lies.

"That's something we also need to work on. I'm ready to take the first step in forgiving you, but that doesn't mean I do forgive you. I'm ready to forgive you though. You just need to prove your loyalty," I tell him, giving him a weak smile.

He slowly nods his head, biting his bottom lip as he looks down at the ground.

I can tell that Theo is just as hurt as I am. I can tell that he's sorry and I know that he wants my forgiveness, but I just can't forgive him like that. He didn't only hurt me, he also hurt my friends. Scott almost die because of him, but he also survived because of him. He regrets what he's done, and I can see that.

"I will do anything to gain your trust and forgiveness," he tells me, looking up at me. I see the tears in his eyes as he stares into mine.

My heart aches as I look at him. I fight back the urge to kiss him, but it's grown too strong. I walk over to him, cupping his face in my hands. He looks down at him, his eyes still filled with tears.

I pull his face down to me, placing my lips on his. I instantly feel a burst of electricity when our lips connect. I slowly move my mouth with his, entering my tongue into his mouth. He does the, running his hand down my back.

I kiss him more intensely, the huger growing stronger. I run my hands down his back, focusing on keeping in sync with him.

Although I want him right now, I want all of him right now, I can't. I pull away slowly, smiling as I look up at him. I rest my head on his chest, embracing him in a hug.

"I'm sorry," he whispers into my ear.

I bring him closer to me, wanting to stay like this forever. The scariest thing about what just happened is... I don't know why I was ever angry at him.