The Expendables One Shots and Imagines

Forgive me - Part 1 - Church x Reader

I know, yet another Church imagine. But I must confess that I did have a thing for old Bruce when he was in his prime. I still love Die Hard after all these years, and I suppose that love has extended to Church. So, I hope that you will enjoy.

"Where is that bastard!? I'm going to kill him!" (Y/n) exclaimed, as she heard the smarmy voice of the agent drift through the hangar.

The team had been back from Church's latest, a chance to get yourself killed mission, for two days now, and (Y/n) was still fuming. She was getting sick of the agent holding the theft of the money over their heads. She was getting sick of the team being sent on every awful cluster fuck job that Church could come up with. She was getting sick of nearly being killed for seemingly nothing. But most of all, she was sick of Church. Sick of his smug grin. His condescending manner. And sick of his bald, ugly head of his.

"(Y/n). As much as I have no problem with you ripping that bastard a new one, I don't think that now is the time. I think that you should just leave Church to Barney." Christmas said, as he and Toll barred her way. The men knowing that if she got to the agent, this could all end badly.

"Leave it to Barney? Leave it to Barney? Barney Ross is far too nice to that........that.......agent. And it wasn't Barney that nearly got cut in half by an asshole with a Browning. It's not Church that's laid up in hospital because his so called "intel" was wrong as per usual. I don't care what you say, Lee. I am going to give that prick a piece of my mind. And it is a piece that he isn't going to like." (Y/n) growled. The demolition expert angered that poor Galgo was stuck in the hospital because Church had failed to inform the team about a rather large ammunition dump that was way too close to the target for comfort. An ammunition dump that had suddenly exploded. The Spaniard peppered with shrapnel. (Y/n) having to help Doc pick out the pieces of metal from the unconscious man, as best they could on their way back to the States.

Lee knew that he really shouldn't argue. That he too was sick of the agent and all his little jobs. And if anyone could make the smug agent think twice, then it would be (Y/n). The ex-sergeant not the kind of woman to take anyone's shit. But especially not Church's shit.

"Fine! But if you are going to do it, make it worth all our whiles, will ya?" Christmas said, gesturing for Toll to move out of (Y/n)'s way.

"Oh, don't you worry that pretty little head of yours, Santa. Church is not going to know what hit him." (Y/n) replied, as she quickly made her way to find Barney and Church. The rest of the team briefly looking at one another, before quickly following after the only female member of the Expendables. All eager to see what she would do.

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"Not bad, Bamm Bamm. Could have been better, but at least you got what we needed." Church mussed, as he looked at the rather hefty file in his hands. Barney annoyed that he couldn't wipe the sanctimonious grin that Church only ever seemed to give him, off the agents face.

Barney was never happy to see Church. Never happy to have to take another one of his missions, but this time he was more annoyed than usual. Galgo had had to be taken straight to the hospital when they got home. Doc and (Y/n) having done the best they could to patch him up, but he would still have to be out of action until he fully recovered. And (Y/n) had nearly been gunned down. The leader of the Expendables placing the blame for these two near death experiences, firmly on the agent's shoulders.

"How's (Y/n)?" Church suddenly asked, matter of factly. The agent and Barney looking up as they heard stomping footsteps make their way over to them.

"How is (Y/n)? How is (Y/n)? I'll show you how I am, you bastard." (Y/n) growled, as she stormed over to the agent, and planted a heavy right hook to the company man's chin. Church dropping to the ground like a sack of potatoes,

"Get up! Get up so I can knock you down again, you fuck!" (Y/n) exclaimed, as she glared down at the stunned agent. Barney doing all he could to stop (Y/n) from doing any more damage. The rest of the team doing their best not to laugh out loud, as they watched the goings on from a safe distance.

"I was nearly killed, you asshole. Galgo is lucky to be alive. Hell, we are all lucky to be alive. And for what? Yet another file. Something else that will be scurried away in the company's dirty little secrets draw, until you can use it against someone. I swear that I don't care what you have hanging over Barney's head, we are not going on another one of your damn missions. If you want someone to get their ass shot at, you can send some of those idiots that wander around Langley, thinking that their shit don't stink. You, Alex Church, have to be the worst agent. The worst bo.............man that I have ever met. And I promise that if you ever come near me again, your chin won't be the only thing that I bust." (Y/n) hissed, as she struggled against Barney's strong arms. Barney not sure what to think as he looked at the woman in his arms, and the eyes of the still prone agent. The big guy having the strangest of feelings that there was more to this than (Y/n) just being annoyed about Church's shocking intel, and laissez-faire attitude to the team's wellbeing.

"(Y/n), please. I didn't.................." Church managed to splutter out, as he finally dragged himself from the floor. The agent incapable of doing or saying anything further to explain, as the demolition expert finally managed to break free from Barney's grasp and planted yet another punch to a shocked Church's jaw.

"Get your ass out of here, Church, before she does what she promises." Barney shouted at the agent. (Y/n) once again fighting to get passed the large man to kick the agent while he was down. The rest of the team racing over to help Barney keep the irate woman from doing anything worse.

"Yeah. Get ya Secret Squirrel ass out of here, before I shove you head so far up ya backside, you'll be able to eat your own bullshit for a week." (Y/n) agreed angrily, as more arms enveloped her. The boys sure that when the usually calm (Y/n) was not happy, it was like trying to control an irate lioness.

"(Y/n) really, I can explain........The fuel dump wasn't........."

"Explain? That's it! I'm gonna kill him!" (Y/n) bellowed, as she tried to wriggle out of the arms. Gunnar finally deciding that enough was enough, and picking (Y/n) up, he threw her over his shoulder. The big Swede gripping as tight as he could to the wildly flailing woman.

"OUT!" Gunnar growled, as he moved passed the others and made his way over to the agent. Church deciding that in this case, discretion may in fact actually be the better part of valour. (Y/n)'s kicking legs uncomfortably close to his head. Church not even bothering to brush himself down before racing for the hangar doors. The shouts of the ex-sergeant filling his ears, as he jumped into his car. The company man having a feeling that this time, (Y/n) might not forgive him as easily as she had done all the other times.