The Expendables One Shots and Imagines

Until we meet again - Part 2 - Barney x Reader

I thought that I would do a second part to this imagine, and there will probably be a part 3 😁 I am also thinking about doing an imagine just for Bonaparte, so if there are any Kelsey Grammer fans out there, please feel free to let me know.😊

"You'll love this one Barney; she is something special." Bonaparte told the big man by his side with a chuckle, as they drove down the long abandoned road out into the middle of what seemed like nowhere.

"It has taken me quite a while to persuade her to meet with you, and that she should become part of the world again; but finally, she has agreed to show you what she can do." Bonaparte continued, a curious look on his face as he continued to drive.

Barney wasn't taking much notice of what was going on around him, in fact he hadn't been for some time, and was just glad that Drummer hadn't dragged him and the rest of the team into some new mission with the possibility of getting their asses blown up.

It wasn't the fact that he had had to come face to face with a man he was sure he had killed years before that was making Barney remember the old days, it was the meeting with Stonebanks sister that was really making him think. Barney could vividly remember every time Conrad had shown him his sister's picture. He could remember every story that Conrad had told about her, every time he had told him how great his little sister was, and when he had finally met her in that interview room, Barney had realised that Conrad had lied, because whatever he had told him, he had not done (Y/n) enough justice. And even though there meeting had been quite fleeting, and a number of months ago, (Y/n) had definitely made a huge impression, an impression that had left Barney wanting more.

"Here, ya gonna need these." Bonaparte said, as he pulled out two pairs of earmuffs, handing one pair to Barney.

"Things tend to get a little loud around her." Bonaparte said with a chuckle, as he turned the car a sharp left, and headed off the bitumen road and onto a gravel track.

"She lives down here. The track ends in an old quarry. No one comes out this way anymore, so she is free to dabble in her little hobby. Oh, and you might want to keep those close, I know that she has rigged up the gate we just passed so that she knows when someone is entering." Bonaparte told Barney, indicating to the earmuffs on the big man's lap.

After a considerable drive down the abandoned track, the once well used trail now overgrown on both sides with scrubby brush, and gnarled looking trees, Bonaparte finally pulled the 65 Ford Mustang convertible to a stop by an old shack that appeared as though it hadn't been in use since the time of the first gold rush.

"We better stay here until she sends her little sentry. The place is boobytrapped, so we step one foot out of place and lord only knows what we'll lose." Bonaparte laughed, seemingly more confident and jovial about the current situation than he really should have been.

"Are ya sure that she's what we're looking for? I mean, living out here in the middle of nowhere, boobytraps, gates rigged for warning of trespassers, sentries. She doesn't sound stable if ya ask me." Barney said, not daring to move an inch from his current position.

"Oh, come on Barney, have you ever known an explosives expert that was ever altogether right in the head? They are all crazy, and this one just happens to be her special own kind of crazy. Look, once you meet her, I won't have to explain anything else. Just be patient." Bonaparte told him, as suddenly a bomb disposal robot appeared from nowhere, trundling towards the two men, its tracks rumbling over the gravelled path.

"Ah. Barney, I would like you to meet Jeeves. Jeeves, I would like you to meet Barney Ross." Bonaparte said, as the robot came to a stop in front of the two men, a piece of paper clutched between the fingers of its claw.

"Jeeves?" Barney questioned, as he looked at the robot, Bonaparte chuckling as he read the note that had been clasped between its fingers.

"Yeah, Jeeves. He's a butler, sentry, dogsbody, companion, this little guy serves a multitude of roles. Note says that we can proceed into the quarry, and that we should stop behind the bomb proof screen. Looks like our girl is going to put on a special show just for you." Bonaparte told Barney, as he indicated for the big man to follow the robot as it rolled down towards the quarry.

"What tha hell is this, Bonaparte? Are ya gonna to tell me what's goin on or not?" Barney asked, not sure of what his old friend had dragged him into this time.

"Believe me Barney when I say all this will make sense in the end. Now may I suggest that you put those earmuffs on." Bonaparte replied, smiling at a still confused Barney, as both men came to a stop behind the screen that had been set up, the pair covering their ears.

As soon as they did, a voice called out loudly and clearly.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!"

Barney stared wide eyed as a series of rockets suddenly thundered towards the sky, and explosion after explosion was set off in a perfectly timed show, the whole thing as well choreographed as any ballet.

"AMAZING, ISN'T SHE?" Bonaparte shouted out; his voice barely audible over another round of explosions, a huge smile spreading across his face as the whole scene suddenly went quiet and Jeeves followed by two more robots trundled out into the middle of the scene.

"That's Sherlock and Watson. Our girl made them herself, and if you haven't noticed, she has a liking for English literature." Bonaparte said, taking of his earmuffs and sending Barney yet another beaming smile as he took another note from the biggest robot's clutches.

"We have to follow Sherlock and Watson. Our host says that she has some cold beers with our names on them." Bonaparte told Barney, handing the big man the note, as the two smaller robots turned around and led the two men further into the quarry. Barney still not sure whether he should turn around and leave.

"Good Afternoon, Bonaparte, Mister Ross. It's nice to see you both again." A lilting accent called out, as the pair rounded the corner, their eyes falling on the old airstream that glinted in the fall sunlight.

"Well, Mister Ross, what did you think of my little display?" (Y/n) asked, as she appeared from the inside of the trailer, three ice cold beer in her hands, handing two of them to the robots that dutifully delivered them to the two waiting men.

"I told you that next time we met that it would be under more salubrious circumstances." (Y/n) said, as she sat down on one of the chairs that had been set up in preparation for her visitors.

"And you should thank Bonaparte for this. Your CIA friend still has his eyes on me, but it's surprising what you can do when you have the right contacts." (Y/n) chuckled, as she raised her bottle in salute to Bonaparte before taking a drink.

"So? What do you think? Would you be willing to trust another Stonebanks on your team?" (Y/n) asked Barney, as the two men came to sit by her side, Barney doing all he could to not smile at the thought of being able to get to know (Y/n) better.

"Well..........." Barney began as he reached for the cigar in his pocket. Bonaparte shaking his head at the Expendable as he pretended to think.

"Ya dangerous, batshit crazy, and ya like beer. I think you'll fit in just fine." Barney replied, as he clinked his bottle against (Y/n)'s, looking forward to where this new turn of events could lead next. And he reminded himself, that when he got chance, he would have to thank Bonaparte.