The Expendables One Shots and Imagines

A Little Dutch Courage - Christmas x Reader

Usually Christmas could handle his liqueur, he wasn't quite up there with Gunnar, but there again no one was as good at holding their liqueur as Gunnar; but usually it took a lot for Christmas to step over that fine line between just slightly drunk, and well........drunk, but tonight just happened to be one of those nights where he jumped over with both feet.

(Y/n) and the boys had just got back home from a mission that somehow had gone without a glitch. For once Drummer's intel had been on point, the bad guys were where they were supposed to be, no one had been hurt, and the flying junk heap that Barney laughably called a plane, had got them all back home without a propeller dropping off, or sending them plummeting into a watery grave; so given all those facts, the team had decided that it was a great idea to make their way to the bar and celebrate their good fortune.

It had started off as a normal evening for the Expendables; Christmas and Doc were throwing knives at the dartboard in a vain attempt to out do one another, Barney sat watching the pair, shaking his head at the childish antics of the two as he puffed on the big cigar that was gripped tightly between his teeth. Toll sat next to Barney, desperately trying to ignore Caesar who was telling one terrible joke after another, and as usual, teasing the poor Toll about his cauliflower ears.

Gunnar sat across the table from the others, his eyes trained on the new server behind the bar, as he gulped down another bottle of beer; finally, over by the pool tables were (Y/n) and Galgo, the two as always having a friendly wager on who would win their latest game.

But once Gunnar had had his advances turned down by the pretty brunette behind the bar, he had managed to persuade everyone that as tonight was a celebration, they should forego their usual routine and take the party to a new place that had just opened up downtown, a place that Gunnar claimed was much more the Expendables.

The club was busy, a little too busy for (Y/n), Barney and Toll's liking, but the three had decided, that despite their better judgement, to give the place a chance, and seeing how the others seemed to be enjoying themselves, who were they to spoil the moment.

"You know, if he gets too drunk, you're taking him home." (Y/n) said into Toll's ear, loud enough so that she could be heard over the music, the two looking over at Caesar who was obviously having a good time with two ladies on the dance floor.

"Why do I get stuck with him? He's bad enough when he's sober." Toll complained, almost pouting as he stared over that his friend's gyrating form.

"You get stuck with him because if you haven't noticed he's a little too big for me to carry out of here. Do you know how much he weighs?" (Y/n) chuckled, as she indicated towards her smaller frame.

"Well, if I have to look after the class clown, you can take Christmas home, he already looks like he could do with getting outta here, I told him not to touch that grain alcohol that Gunnar is throwing back like water." Toll said with a shake of his head as he and (Y/n) watched as Christmas and Gunnar leant across the bar, the two giggling barmaids making it more than obvious what the men were trying to do.

"Nah, I don't think Christmas will need me to take him home, looks to me like he has his eyes firmly set on the blonde with the fake boobs. Anyway, Christmas is Barney's problem, I'll take Galgo." (Y/n) said, trying to ignore Christmas as he took a strand of the blonde's hair and twirled it around his finger.

"Don't bring me into this. If ya ask me they are all big enough and ugly enough to look after look after themselves, especially Christmas. Barney called out over the music, crossing his arms as he watched the rest of the team act like kids on summer break.

"Well, here's to staying sober.....ish, and being able to remember all this tomorrow." Toll said, raising his beer in salute, as (Y/n) joined him, laughing at the idea of not only being able to tease the boy's tomorrow, but also at being able to make their hangovers as bad as possible.