Pleasuring Him [R-18]

Chapter 21

Shunned

"K-Khale, what..." My voice trailed off.

Sumunod ang tingin ko sa palad niyang dumausdos mula sa aking braso patungo sa aking palapulsuhan. Ipinikit ko ang aking mata noong maramdaman ang mainit niyang palad na mahinang humahaplos sa aking pisngi.

"You have no idea, Sophia..." wika niya na nagpamulat sa akin. Sumalubong sa akin ang mga abuhing mata na hindi ko mawari kung malungkot, galit o natutuwa. Kahit anong titig ko sa mga mata niya, hindi ko pa rin siya mabasa. "I missed holding your hand. I missed touching your face. I missed every thing about you, Fi." Nakagat ko ang aking labi at kusang pumikit ang mga mata ko noong maramdaman ang paglapat ng kaniyang noo sa akin. "And that's when I realized how I screwed up everything. How I screwed up being your husband. Our marriage. Us."

"Khale..." mahina kong sambit. "Bakit mo ginagawa sa akin 'to?"

"I don't know. All I want is to hug you. Kiss you. Make love to you every day and night. Maybe I just want to go back to the day where everything is fine. We're happy and in love."

Binawi ko ang aking palapulsuhan mula sa kaniyang kamay. Tumuwid ako ng tayo at mariing tumitig sa kaniyang mga mata.

"But you know it's never gonna happen right?" wika ko bago tinungo ang bakanteng upuang nasa hardin.

Nakarinig ako ng mga yapak at ilang sandali lamang ay nakaupo na rin siya sa tabi ko.

"Why?" wika niya sa malamyang boses.

Nagkibit ako ng balikat bago tumitig sa madilim na kalangitan. Funny how I didn't see any stars when I needed them the most. Everytime I am confused or battling with hard decision or even regret of my choices in life, I just look up to the stars at sky and my worries fade in an instant. Seeing the stars in the sky made me feel like I am not alone. That there is always light in darkness. And though it's full of obstacles, the path through it still glimmers. Like a hope that never fades. Like a first love that never dies.

Ipinikit ko na lamang ang aking mga mata at ninamnam ang sariwang hangin na humahaplos sa aking pisngi. Kumawala ang isang malalim na buntong-hininga sa aking labi.

"Anong nangyari sa atin, Khale?" wala sa sariling wika ko.

Lumingon ako sa direksyon niya kasabay niyon ang pagtama ng mata naming dalawa. Hinawakan niya ang aking palad at ginagap iyon.

"I don't know either, Sophia..."

Malungkot akong ngumit. "We were fine. We were so happy. At napakurap lang ako, biglang nagbago ang lahat. Bakit gano'n, Khale? Am I not supposed to be happy even once in my life?"

Wala akong sagot na narinig. Bagkus, naramdaman ko ang pagpulupot ng kaniyang braso sa aking bewang at ang pagsandal niya ng aking ulo sa kaniyang balikat.

"I am sorry, Sophia..."

Isang malungkot na ngiti ang muling kumurba sa labi ko. I like it. I like this kind of warmth and squishy feeling being wrapped around his arms, but the thought that it's only for tonight is making my chest ache and all I could feel is pain all over. I know pulling away from him is the most rational thing that I should do, but it seemed like I lost my mind and I even forgot how to lift my fingers. So how much more pulling away from him? And I couldn't believe I am letting him again do this to me. This kind of effect he has on me. It definetly tells that he has still power over my emotions. And I don't like it. I don't know how to stop it. So maybe, even just for tonight I will let my overflowing emotions for him rule me. Just for tonight.