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August 23, 2015

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August 23, 2015

Mingyu bowed, paying his respects. He stood a few steps away from the urn, his tears dropping down on the floor. On the last bow, he just stayed there, not lifting his head up. He was one of Minghao's closest friends along with Seungkwan, and the death of Minghao was not an easy pill to swallow. He slowly lifts his head up, his eyes meeting the white ceramic urn and a photo of Minghao smiling happily in a frame. The smile on the picture frame contrasted the mood in every corner of the room. 

Mingyu was carrying a white flower with him. Seeing the picture of the boy smiling, he gripped the flower in his hands. Who could have ever imagined that he would be placed in this situation―visiting the funeral of his best friend? It was all too sudden. The once smiling yet moody boy was no longer with them. He walked forward, closer to the urn, placing the white flower beside it. He took one last glance to the urn, before facing the boy's parents, wiping his tears. He bowed, unable to imagine how much pain the Chinese male's parents must be in. 

His parents weren't looking well. Their eyes were red from the tears and dark circles right under. The faces were filled with nothing, but apathy. How it feels to lose their son in that way is something I could never describe in words no matter how hard I try.

Mingyu slowly walked back, seeing his other friends also there, but none were talking to each other. They had their heads down, some crying, and some just staring blankly in a space. He sits down near them, as his friends just looked at him, not saying anything, but the expressions on their faces could be felt. At the corner of his eye, he notices Seungkwan sitting a little farther than the rest. 

Seungkwan felt the guiltiest. He remembered each and every single word he told Minghao before the boy had passed. He kept pushing the boy to play when he clearly did not want to. He, as Minghao's best friend, should have listened to him when he said that he was against him. He should. He hated himself for it, but what was there that he could do? Minghao was gone and the boy suffered even until his last breath. 

What was he supposed to do now? The boy was dead. How could he apologize? He can't bring the boy back. He blamed himself for what had happened. He could never stay the same after this.\

The eleven boys stayed there like that, silent as the tears flow, until the sun had started to set and it was time to leave. The boys had gathered outside, just standing there, not knowing what to say or do. The silence was not pleasing, the silence was uncomfortable, but it was understandable. Seungcheol decided to be the first to break it.

"Have you guys... heard about Jun?"Seungcheol asks softly, glancing upwards.

Jisoo nodded, keeping his eyes on the ground. "He... yesterday I heard that he..."

"He was brought to the hospital." Wonwoo continued. "I'm gonna go for a visit."

"I'm... I'm also gonna visit." Seokmin said.

All of them ended up going to the hospital that Junhui was admitted in. The Chinese male has not woken up yet and it has been more than twenty four hours. They all took turns going in and out of the room.

Except for Seungkwan.

Seungkwan stayed outside, sitting on the chair with his head low. He couldn't bear to see the Chinese male like that. He knew that Junhui was in that state because of Minghao's death. He blamed himself as the one responsible for Junhui being there like that.

Hansol stepped out of the room for a bit. They noticed Seungkwan not coming in.

"Kwannie, you're not going in?" Hansol asked, taking the seat beside Seungkwan. He held the boy's hand, knowing full-well that Seungkwan was nowhere near okay.

Seungkwan took a few seconds to answer. "Yeah, I'll... I'll go in later. I just... I just... now I..." He couldn't find the words to say regarding what he wanted to say. A part of him was hesitating and was trying to find excuses to not see Junhui because the amount of guilt might tip him over. Another part of him was about to burst out in tears once more.

Hansol took Seungkwan in for a hug. "I understand, Kwan. You don't have to say more." He pat him in the back. "I'll take you home if you want."

"No, I..." Seungkwan pulled back. "No, I'm... I'm okay." He says as the tears start flowing out without him realizing it.

Hansol once again pulled him in for an embrace. This time he just stayed silent. He just let Seungkwan cry his heart out.

The nine other boys were inside the room Junhui was in. Junhui's parents had stepped outside for a bit. The Chinese male's parents had been watching Junhui the entire time before the kid's friends had arrived.

Junhui's eyes were fluttering.

Jisoo immediately stood up. "His eyes... is he waking up?"

Everyone else crowded the hospital bed Junhui was lying down on.

"Yeah, I saw them." Wonwoo looked closer. "Jun, can you hear me?" He asked softly, trying not to alarm the boy.

Jeonghan carefuly held Junhui's hand to check for responses. He felt a light squeeze from Junhui.

Junhui's eyes had slowly opened.

"Are you okay? Can you hear me?" Seungcheol asked.

"Can you see us well, Jun?" Seokmin asked.

"I'll get his parents." Chan ran outside the door.

"Does anything hurt?" Soonyoung asked.

"Don't ask too many questions. His head might be hurting." Jihoon said.

Junhui slowly lifts his head up. "Where am I? A hospital? Why?" He let out a few groans as he got himself seated on the bed.

"Don't you remember?" Seungcheol furrowed his eyebrows.  "You... You passed out yesterday."

"Yesterday..." Junhui closed his eyes, thinking hard on it.

"You locked yourself in your room for days." Wonwoo looked down.

Junhui scoffs. "And why would I do that?"

"Because... Minghao..." Jeonghan's hands were trembling. "Minghao is..."

"Minghao?" Junhui blinks. "Who's Minghao?"

END

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