All I want is to love- Kian Lawley fanfic

Chapter 52: Dirt.

*Kian pov*

"Not one.. Fucking thing.. You could say to me.. That would.. Make me not love you.." I say while kissing down Courtneys neck and down to her collar bones. She squirmed beneath me, I felt empowered. My veins beg for power and responsibility and when I'm with Courtney she fulfills the wish. Placing love bites down her sweet spots and getting a response is what makes it fulfilling. Leaving marks below her jawline for her to see later makes it feel like I can leave a lasting impression. Something in me begs for it.

Although the feeling of power is sometimes overwhelming while sexually roused, she is the only person that makes me feel desperate and makes me beg. Because something in me begs for her.

Her hands come to my face and bring it to hers. Connecting out lips and flipping on top of me so she was sitting on my lap. She ever so slightly always finds a way to makes all thoughts in my mind disappear. From her starting a hot make out session randomly just when we are having a lazy night or if it's long coming date night after not seeing each other for most of the week. She manages to make everything disappear.

My hands roam the body of the girl I am in love with. I feel cautious every time. But the more into she gets the more daring I become. Unless of course, I'm all horned up and want to get down to business right away.

The curves of her body, beneath my finger tips, always leaving a trail of goosebumps on her skin. She has the same effect on me.

Courtney, has always been gentle by nature. It's a treat if she's ever not. Either way she's great in bed. Not that I have anyone to compare it to, just I know she is.

Having sex, is never just having sex with Courtney and I. It's a point in time where we both show sides of ourselves that we leave behind closed doors. Being in a state of vulnerability.

It was never a thing we did because I was drunk or we were high on happiness. It wasnt a thing we did for the pleasure and fun. It was something we did out of pure and utter love.

I remember all the milestones with Courtney. I remember how uncomfortable it was the first time we 'cuddled' was and it really doesn't even compare how much I love it now. The first kiss, the first meaningful hug, the first make out, the first strip and everything in between. And every thing that happened meant something. Nothing was meaningless.

After the deed, I feel this metaphorical combining of our hearts. I have discussed it with Courtney previously. When we are laying under the sheets breathing heavily, and snuggled up on eachothers bodies, we both feel the bond. It's like strands of our hearts are braiding together and we will never be apart. It's the chemicals that are released with sexual activity that does it, but it is such a lovely feeling. It's a feeling you wish you could bottle up and use when you are lonely and miss her when she's gone.

Adrenaline is such a high. And that is something that I thrive from. Cause I find myself get hyped up about something or in this case Courtney and I'll just go and go and go until it's over and I'll just sink into bed and usually sleep.

Naps are best when shared with your naked girlfriend.