the 1 | chaennie

36. This Love

Your kiss, my cheek
I watched you leave
Your smile, my ghost
I fell to my knees
When you're young, you just run
But you come back to what you need

This love is good, this love is bad
This love is alive back from the dead, oh-oh, oh These hands had to let it go free, and
This love came back to me, oh-oh, oh

This love left a permanent mark
This love is glowing in the dark, oh-oh, oh
These hands had to let it go free, and
This love came back to me, oh-oh, oh

-

"We weren't apart for that long this time. I think it was only two months, and then she was back, and I had myself a new boyfriend. Now, this is one I really regret in hindsight. Not because of anything he said, or did - he was actually very lovely. His fans were just determined to make my life a living hell for even so much as breathing the same air as him. Which was just ... shocking to me. I would be walking around holding his hand, getting photographed with him in the most obviously staged places, and I had hoards of teenage girls who wanted to see me dead because of it. I wanted to just grab them and say I don't like him. This isn't real. But God, that was a rough time for me."

Nayeon let out a quiet laugh, her eyebrows raising slightly, "so ... that would be Kim Suho, I assume?"

Nodding, Rosie halfheartedly rolled her eyes. "If there was one thing I learned from that, it was never date a boyband member. Especially if they're in the biggest boyband in the world. Don't even pretend to date them."

Giving her a bewildered look, Nayeon's brow furrowed and she pressed her lips into a flat line for a moment. Then, with another laugh, she shook her head. "I don't understand what either of you would've gotten from that pairing though. I mean, you just said it yourself, Exo was the most popular boyband in the world at that time. And you certainly didn't need more fame either. Why him? Who thought up that idea? I mean, I've interviewed Kim Suho a few times, and the rest of the boys too, and they're all so charming and sweet, but like you said ..."

"He was just one of the prospective offers on the table, and someone I knew quite well already. We had friends in common and had found ourselves at more than one award show and dinner together. And Jennie and I were both home, in Miami, and I wasn't touring until the following March. We had around five or six months to spend together! Can you imagine how absolutely wonderful that was for us? But with it, I really felt the pressure to do what I could to give us that buffer, that little bit of room to be able to do things together without rumours sparking. At the time, the best way for that to happen seemed to be to pick the person who would generate the most rumours. Who better than one of the most sought after guys on the planet?"

"That's- uh, well, I suppose that's one way of looking at it."

Shoulders shaking with a quiet snort laughter, Rosie gave her a wry smile, "it definitely was the wrong way, I'll tell you that."

-

Jennie was home by the end of October, just in time for Halloween. She flew straight into Miami and made it to Rosie's house a little after midnight, falling straight into bed beside her and filling the empty space that had felt so cold without her in it. Rosie hadn't slept so well in weeks. They woke late to grey skies and the warm press of each other's body enveloping them. As Rosie blinked herself awake, she stretched and smiled at the heavy weight of Jennie's arm thrown across her waist, the intense feeling of rightness settling within her. There wasn't any other place she'd rather be.

"Good morning," Jennie murmured a short while later, finally coming to.

Shifting in her embrace, Rosie turned to face her, tender love in her eyes and a soft look of contentedness, taking in the tousled brunette hair and bleary-eyed owlish look of her girlfriend. Jennie's parted lips slowly curled up into a smile and she laughed quietly, leaning in to kiss her gently.