the 1 | chaennie

59. Paper Rings

In the winter, in the icy outdoor pool
When you jumped in first, I went in too I'm with you even if it makes me blue
Which takes me back
To the colour that we painted your sister's wall Honey, without all the exes, fights, and flaws
We wouldn't be standing here so proud, so

Kiss me once 'cause I know you had a long night (Oh!)
Kiss you twice 'cause it's gonna be alright
Three times 'cause you waited your whole life (One, two, one two three four!)

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings
Uh huh, that's right
Darling, you're the one I want, and
I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this
Uh huh, that's right

Darling, you're the one I want, and
Paper rings and picture frames and dirty dreams
Oh, you're the one I want

-

"Marry me."

The ensuing silence was deafening as Rosie looked at Jennie expectantly, eyebrows slightly raised, chest rising and falling quickly with the adrenaline of it all. And then Jennie laughed, her brow creasing as she cocked her head to the side.

"What?"

"Marry me," Rosie boldly stated, raising her chin slightly, "because I don't want anyone else but you, and I don't want to lose you again."

"We've been here before," Jennie lightly reminded her, some of her amusement melting away.

Rosie took a step forward, a pleading look on her face, "I know, but things were different then. I was too young to know what I wanted, I didn't realise that my career would one day be hanging by a thread, and I didn't realise that it wouldn't be the end of the world to lose it. But it is to lose you - every time it hurts so much that I feel like I'll never be able to get over it. And I can't, because I've tried, and I keep coming back to you like I'm tied to you. And I just- I don't care about what they say. I know it'd be a big conversation but I don't want to miss you like this."

Jennie took a step towards her with a torn look on her face, equal parts sympathy and longing, stopping a few feet away, "I don't want things to be like this either, but you don't know what you're signing up for. Not publicly. It's fine to say that you don't care anymore, but what about when you do?"

"I know that I can be ... a little insecure, I know I'm paranoid about the press and my career, but I'm already drowning in the rumours as it is. We've tried to let go of each other but we can't, and I know I've made some mistakes ... I regret that, I do. I attract drama like flies to honey; it may as well be over something good this time. Something that makes me happy. I want to love you without anyone else's input. Not Irene, or Hyeri, or Chanyeol. Not even my mum."

"But that's just it!" Jennie exclaimed, "you can't just ignore it all. What will they say? What will they do? I mean ... two years isn't that long to wait to get married, but ... what guarantee is an engagement? Things will just break down again, before we ever get to publicly step out together, before we can freely get married. We've been here before."

Frustration welling up, Rosie grit her teeth, her eyes shining with fierce defiance and a film of tears, "then let's get married now. That's the biggest promise I can make you, and I'll make it. I want to bind myself to you in every possible way. I mean ... it'll still be two years until I'm out of my contract, until I can- but I'll marry you right now. No one else has to know."

"Is that even what you want?"

"Yeah," Rosie murmured, her expression softening, "I want to marry you. I think I've always wanted to marry you. Eventually. I just ... it never occurred to me that we could. That we didn't need anyone's approval."