the 1 | chaennie

62. Afterglow

I blew things out of proportion, now you're blue Put you in jail for something you didn't do
I pinned your hands behind your back, oh Thought I had reason to attack, but no

Fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves
Chemistry 'til it blows up, 'til there's no us
Why'd I have to break what I love so much?
It's on your face, and I'm to blame, I need to say

Hey
It's all me in my head
I'm the one who burned us down
But it's not what I meant
Sorry that I hurt you
I don't wanna do, I don't wanna do this to you
I don't wanna lose, I don't wanna lose this with you
I need to say, hey
It's all me, just don't go
Meet me in the afterglow

-

"When I say that I never thought I'd tour again, I mean it. Everything was up in the air for a while with Reputation: the projected sales were lower; the general public interest was down; I'd broken my two-year schedule. No one expected the album to be as successful as it was."

"Another million first-week sales," Nayeon said with a wry smile, "how smug were you?"

A slow smile spread across Rosie's face, self-satisfied as she lounged in her armchair. "Insufferable. That was ... the moment for me. I'd come back from the brink of public ruin, and I still managed to make every headline. And of course, the tabloids and blogs were cynical and ruthless, and they said that the tour wasn't going to sell many tickets and how no one cared about me anymore. But they couldn't stop talking about me, about Look What You Made Me Do, about the album, parsing the lyrics for hints about who they were written about. It's always been funny to me that people will say they don't care about me, will insist that they hate me, and then they spend all their time talking about me and listening to my music to criticise it. In that sense, it's almost flattering that they go through so much effort."

A bemused look crossed Nayeon's face as she shook her head, her brown eyes trained on Rosie as she tried to unravel the nonchalance of her tone, her posture.

"You always seem so ... kind. People say the worst things about you, and you still maintain that. It must take a lot of effort."

Cheek dimpling as she grimaced, Rosie rolled a shoulder in a lazy shrug. "I don't want to ever be that person who is mean and entitled. People are allowed their own opinion, and that's fine, even if they go about expressing it in a nasty way. I always want to have both feet planted on the ground, no matter ... how many albums I sell, or how much money I make. I've seen people in this industry become rude and arrogant as soon as they get a number one hit or a critically acclaimed movie and ... that's just not me."

"Jennie is- I hope this isn't going to offend her," Nayeon said, looking past Rosie to give Jennie a sheepish look of apology, "not quite as in the spotlight as you. She's had a very successful career, especially in the last few years, but there's something about actors that make them have less rabid fanbases."

With a choked laugh, Rosie nodded, "oh, definitely! I think that's mostly because of the access to them. I go on tour with crowds of a hundred thousand fans, with meet and greets and people camped at the hotel or airport, while she goes on press tours with reporters and red carpet premieres. It's a lot calmer in the acting department, which isn't to say she doesn't get noticed a lot in the street or have a few ... intense fans, but it's not as accessible for them."

"She is very humble. I've interviewed her a few times on my show as well, as you know, and we've crossed paths at parties. Does she temper you a little?"

A wide grin flashed across Rosie's face, her brown eyes alight with laughter. "Temper me? I think we're both quite laid back. My life is crazy; me, not so much. But ... I do think that Jennie is a very giving person, very selfless, especially when it comes to my career. We're both very aware that my life is highly publicised - to the extreme - but ... she often steps back and lets me shine. She never complains about it, never complains about the attention I get. She's content with everything she receives, and I know people see how talented and beautiful and kind she is, but they really don't know how deep that goes. I don't just love her; I appreciate and respect her so much as well, and I'm grateful every day, and I have to make sure she knows that at times because I know it gets hard sometimes. It can be hard to be with someone like me."