the 1 | chaennie

44. Wonderland

So we went on our way
Too in love to think straight
All alone or so it seemed
But there were strangers watching
And whispers turned to talking
And talking turned to screams

Didn't they tell us don't rush into things
Didn't you flash your brown eyes at me
Didn't you calm my fears with the treacherous cat's smile Oh didn't it all seem new and exciting
I felt your arms twisting around me
It's all fun and games, still somebody loses their mind

Oh darling, we found wonderland
You and I got lost in it
And we pretended it could last forever, eh We found wonderland
You and I got lost in it
And life was never worse but never better, eh In wonderland, eh
In wonderland, eh
In wonderland, eh
(In won-) In wonderland

I reach for you But you were gone

I knew I had to go back home
You searched the world for something else
To make you feel like what we had
And in the end in wonderland we both went mad

-

"I think for me ... it never really seemed real. I'll be the first to admit that everything I thought I knew about love, or was told that love should be, was so horribly wrong, and I always thought she'd come back. We'd been there before a couple of times, and we always ended up choosing each other. I thought we both just needed some time to cool off, to realise that us together, in any capacity, was better than being apart. But months went by, and ... I don't know. I don't know if I should've made the first move, or why I didn't. I'm not a proud person; I can admit when I'm wrong, but I think it's just that ... I wasn't wrong. Maybe that kept me from reaching out."

"Do you think things would've turned out differently if you had?"

With a scoffing laugh, Rosie's forehead creased with an incredulous look of amusement. Shaking her head, she gave Nayeon a thin smile, picking at the stitching on the arm of the chair.

"No. Absolutely not. And maybe that was also part of what stopped me from reaching out. Rejection is never a fun thing, and I'd already rejected her proposal and she'd rejected our relationship, and it was just ... too much. We both needed that time, I think. No matter how much you love someone, when they hurt you, sometimes you just can't forgive them. Not immediately. Sometimes not ever."

"She's forgiven you now though," Nayeon stated, an insistent look on her face.

A small smile twitched one side of Rosie's mouth as her teeth worried at her red lip, a doe- eyed look of sorrow in the depths of her eyes. There was a forlorn air about her as Rosie gestured off-handedly.

"Sure."

Pausing for a moment, Nayeon pressed her lips into a flat line as she narrowed her eyes in a shrewd manner. The silence hung heavily for a moment as they locked eyes, at a stalemate, before Nayeon drummed her fingers on the arm of her chair and shifted, breaking the spell. Arching an eyebrow, she gave Rosie a droll smile.

"Care to elaborate?"

Exhaling softly, Rosie raked her fingers through her hair in an anxious habit, momentarily forgetting the cameras and her publicist burning a hole into the side of her head. Hastily dropping her hand back down to her lap, Rosie shrugged nonchalantly.

"She has, yes," she slowly agreed, "but back then I thought that I'd apologise to her and she'd apologise to me and we'd put it behind us and fix things for the better again. That's what we did. We fixed the problems and we made each other better. When we were apart ... things had a bad habit of falling apart. It's like we were losing our support. It was like walking around without a heart."